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Fal. Truly, mine hoft, I must turn away fome of followers.

my

Hoft. Difcard, bully Hercules, cafhier; let them wag trot, trot.

Fal. I fit at ten pounds a week.

Hoft. Thou'rt an Emperor, Cafar, Keifar and Pheazar, I will entertain Bardolph, he will draw, he will tap; faid I well, bully Hector?

Fal. Do fo, good mine hoft.

Hoft. I have fpoke, let him follow; let me fee thee froth, and live: I am at a word; follow. [Exit Hoft. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapfter is a good trade; an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a wither'd ferving-man, a fresh tapfter; go, adieu.

Bard. It is a life that I have defir'd: I will thrive.

{Exit Bard. Pift. O bafe Hungarian wight, wilt thou the spigot wield?

Nym. He was gotten in drink, is not the humour conceited?

Fal. I am glad I am fo quit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open, his filching was like an unskilful finger, he kept not time.

Nym. The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest. Pift. Convey, the wife it call: fteal? foh; a fico for the phrase!

Fal. Well, Sirs, I am almoft out at heels.

Pift. Why then let kibes enfue.

Fal. There is no remedy: I muft cony catch, I must fhift.

Pift. Young ravens must have food.

Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town?
Pift. I ken the wight, he is of fubftance good.
Fal. My honeft lads, I will tell you what I am about.
Pift. Two yards and more.

Fal. No quips now, Piftol: indeed I am in the waste two yards about; but I am now about no wafte, I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's

wife:

wife: Ifpy entertainment in her; fhe difcourfes, fhe carves, fhe gives the leer of invitation; I can conftrue the action of her familiar ftile, and the hardeft voice of her behaviour, to be english'd right, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's. Pift. He hath ftudy'd her well, and translated 'her out of honesty into English.

Nym. The anchor is deep; will that humour pass? Fal. Now the report goes, fhe has all the rule of her husband's purse: fhe hath a legion of angels.

Pift. As many devils entertain; and to her, boy, fay I. Nym. The humour rises; it is good; humour me the angels.

Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her; and here another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with moft judicious oiellades ; fometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, fometimes my portly belly.

Pift. Then did the fun on dung-hill fhine.

Nym. I thank thee for that humour.

8

Fal. O, fhe did fo courfe o'er my exteriors with fuch a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did feem to fcorch me up like a burning-glafs. Here's another letter to her; fhe bears the purfe too; fhe is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be 'Escheator to them both, and they fhall be Exchequers to me; they fhall be my East and Weft-Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.

Pift. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,

And by my fide wear fteel? then, Lucifer take all! Nym. I will run no base humour: here take the humourletter, I will keep the haviour of reputation.

Fal. Hold, Sirrah, bear you these letters rightly,
[To Robin.

Sail like my pinnace to these golden fhores.
Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hail-ftones, go!
Trudge, plod away o' th' hoof, seek fhelter, pack!

7 well; out of ... old edit. Warb, emend.

Falstaff

8 Cheater

Falftaff will learn the humour of the age, French thrift, you rogues, my self and skirted Page. [Exeunt Falstaff and Boy.

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Pift. Let vultures gripe thy guts; for gourd and 9'Fulhams hold,

I

And high and low 'beguile the rich and poor.

Tefter I'll have in pouch when thou fhalt lack,
Base Phrygian Turk.

Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge.

Pift. Wilt thou revenge?

Nym. By welkin and her star.

Pift. With wit, or steel?

Nym. With both the humours, I:

I will disclose the humour of this love to Ford.
Pift. And I to Page fhall eke unfold

How Falstaff, varlet vile,

His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
And his foft couch defile.

Nym. My humour fhall not cool; I will incenfe Ford to deal with poison, I will poffefs him with jealoufies, for this revolt of mine is dangerous: that is my true humour. Pift. Thou art the Mars of male-contents: I fecond thee; troop on. [Exeunt.

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Changes to Dr. Caius's house.

Enter mistress Quickly, Simple, and John Rugby.

Quic. WHAT, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the

cafement, and fee if you can fee my master, mafter Doctor Caius, coming; if he do, i' faith, and find

VOL. I.

any

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any body in the house, here will be old abufing of God's patience, and the King's English. Rug. I'll go watch.

[Exit Rugby. Quic. Go, and we'll have a poffet for't foon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a fea-coal fire. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever fervant fhall come in house withal, and I warrant you no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate; his worst fault is that he is given to pray'r, he is fomething peevish that way; but no body but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple you say your name is. Simp. Ay, for fault of a better.

Quic. And mafter Slender's your master?
Simp. Ay, forfooth.

Quic. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife?

Simp. No, forfooth; he hath but a little wee-face, with a little yellow beard, a cane-colour'd beard.

Quic. A foftly-fprighted man, is he not?

Simp. Ay, forfooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head: he hath fought with a warrener.

Quic. How fay you? oh, I fhould remember him; does he not hold up his head, as it were? and ftrut in his gate?

Simp. Yes indeed does he.

Quic. Well, heav'n fend Anne Page no worfe fortune! Tell mafter parfon Evans, I will do what I can for mafter: Anne is a good girl, and I wish

Enter Rugby.

Rug: Out, alas! here comes my mafter.

your

Quic. We fhall all be fhent; run in here, good young man; go into this clofet; [outs Simple in the clofet.] He will not stay long. What, John Rugby! John! what, John, I fay; go, John, go enquire for my mafter; I doubt he be not well, that he comes not home: and down, down, a-down-a, &c.

[Singing.

SCENE

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Caius. Vat is you fing? I do not like des toys; pray you, go and vetch me in my clofet un boitier verd; a box, a green-a box; do intend vat I fpeak? a green-a box.

Quic. Ay, forfooth, I'll fetch it

you.

I am glad he went not in himself; if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad.

[Afide. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe, ma foi il fait fort chaud, je m'en vais a la Cour la grande Affaire.

Quic. Is it this, Sir?

Caius. Ouy, mette le au mon pocket, Depêch quickly : ver is dat knave Rugby?

Quic. What, John Rugby! John!

Rug. Here, Sir.

Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby; come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the

court.

Rug. 'Tis ready, Sir, here in the porch.

Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long: odd's me! Que ay je oublié ? dere is fome fimples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I fhall leave behind.

Quic. Ay-me, he'll find the young man there, and be mad.

Caius. O Diable, Diable! vat is in my clofet? villaine, Larron! Rugby, my rapier.

Quic. Good master, be content.

Caius. Verfore fhould I be content-a?

Quic. The young man is an honeft man.

Caius. Vat fhall de honeft man do in my clofet? dere is no honeft man dat fhall come in my clofet.

Quic. I beseech you, be not fo flegmatick; hear the truth of it. He came of an errand to me from parfon Hugb.

Caius. Vell.

Q2

2 What

Simp.

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