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SCENE VII.

Changes to Ford's House.

Enter Page, Ford, Mistress Page, Mistress Ford
and Evans.

Eva. T1

IS one of the best difcretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon.

Page. And did he fend you both these letters at an inftant?

Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour.

Ford. Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt

I rather will fufpect the fun with cold,

Than thee with wantonnefs; thy honour ftands,
In him that was of late an heretick,

As firm as faith.

Page. 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more.
Be not as extream in fubmiffion

As in offence, but let our plot go forward:
4 'Let our wives once again, to make us fport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,

Where we may take him, and difgrace him for it.
Ford. There is no better way than that they fpoke of.
Page. How? to fend him word they'll meet him in
the park at midnight? fie, fie, he'll never come.

Eva. You fay he hath been thrown into the river; and has been grievoufly peaten, as an old oman; methinks there fhould be terrors in him, that he fhould not come; methinks his flesh is punish'd, he shall have no defires. Page. So think I too.

Mrs. Ford. Devife but how you'll ufe him when he

comes;

And let us two devife to bring him thither.

[hunter, Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Herne the

Some

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Sometime a keeper in our Windfor foreft,
Doth all the winter-time at ftill of midnight
Walk round about an Oak, with ragged horns,
And there he blafts the trees, and takes the cattle,
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and fhakes a chain
In a most hideous and dreadful manner.

You've heard of fuch a fpirit, and well you know
The fuperftitious idle-headed Eld

Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age

This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

Page. Why, yet there want not many that do fear
In deep of night to walk by this Herne's Oak;
But what of this?

Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device,

That Falstaff at that oak fhall meet with us.
We'll fend him word to meet us in the field
Difguis'd like Herne with huge horns on his head.
Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come.
And in this shape when you have brought him thither,
What fhall be done with him? what is your plot?

Mrs. Page. That likewife we have thought upon, and
Nan Page, (my daughter) and my little fon, [thus:
And three or four more of their growth, we'll dress
Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and white,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, fhe, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a faw-pit rush at once
With fome diffused a fong: upon their fight,
We two in great amazednefs will fly;
Then let them all encircle him about,

And like to fairies` pinch the unclean Knight;
And ask him why, that hour of fairy-revel,
In their fo facred paths he dares to tread

In fhape profane?

Mrs. Ford. And 'till he tell the truth,

T 4

(a) Diffufed here means, wild, irregular, extravagant. 5 fairy like to

Let

Warb.

Let the fuppofed fairies pinch him round,
And burn him with their tapers.

Mrs. Page. The truth being known,
We'll all present our felves; dif-horn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windfor.

Ford. The children muft

Be practis'd well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.

Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will be like a jack-a-napes alfo, to burn the Knight with my taper.

Ford. This will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards. Mrs. Page. My Nan fhall be the Queen of all the fairies; Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page. That filk will I go buy, and in that ' 'tire` Shall Mr. Slender fteal my Nan away, [Afide. And marry her at Eaton. Go, fend to Falstaff ftraight. Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in the name of Brook; he'll tell me all his purpofe. Sure he'll come.

Mrs. Page. Fear not you that; go get us properties and tricking for your fairies.

Eva. Let us about it, it is admirable pleasures, and ferry honest knaveries. [Exeunt Page, Ford and Evans. Mrs. Page. Go, Mrs. Ford,

Send Quickly to Sir John, to know his mind.

[Exit Mrs. Ford.

I'll to the Doctor; he hath my good will,
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, tho' well landed, is an ideot;
And 7 'him my husband beft of all affects:
The Doctor is well mony'd, and his friends
Potent at court; he, none but he fhall have her,
Tho' twenty thoufand worthier came to crave her. [Exit.

6 time

...

old edit. Theob, emend.

7 he

SCENE

Hoft.W

SCENE VIII.

The Garter-Inn.

Enter Hoft and Simple.

Hat wouldft thou have, boor? what, thickskin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, fnap.

Simp. Marry, Sir, I come to fpeak with Sir John FalStaff from Mr. Slender.

Hoft. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the ftory of the prodigal, fresh and new; go, knock and call; he'll speak like an anthropophaginian unto thee: knock, I fay.

Simp. There's an old woman, a fat woman gone up into his chamber; I'll be fo bold as ftay, Sir, 'till the come down; I come to fpeak with her indeed.

Hoft. Ha! a fat woman? the Knight may be robb'd: I'll call. Bully-Knight! bully-Sir John! fpeak from thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine hoft, thine Epbefian calls.

Enter Falstaff.

Fal. How now, mine hoft?

Hoft. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: let her defcend, bully, let her defcend; my chambers are honourable. Fie, privacy? fie!

Fal. There was, mine hoft, an old fat woman even now with me, but she's gone.

Simp. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wife woman of Brainford?

Fal. Ay marry was't, mufcle-fhell, what would you with her?

Simp. My mafter, Sir, my mafter Slender fent to her,

(a) He means to fay, thine Ephæftion.

seeing

feeing her go thro' the street, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that beguil'd him of a chain, had the chain,

or no.

Fal. I fpake with the old woman about it..

Simp. And what fays fhe, I pray, Sir?

Fal. Marry, fhe fays, that the very fame man that beguil'd mafter Slender of his chain cozen'd him of it.

Simp. I would I could have fpoken with the woman her felf; I had other things to have fpoken with her too from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Hoft. Ay, come; quick.

Simp. I may not conceal them, Sir?

Hoft. Conceal them, and thou dy'st.

Simp. Why, Sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page, to know if it were my mafter's fortune to have

her or no.

Fal. Tis, 'tis his fortune.

...Simp. What, Sir?

Fal To have her, or no: go; fay the woman told ine fo.

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Simp. May I be fo bold to fay fo, Sir?

Hoft. Ay, Sir; like who more bold.

Simp. I thank your worship: I fhall make my mafter. glad with thefe tidings.

[Exit Simple. Hoft. Thou art clarkly; thou art clarkly, Sir John: was there a wife woman with thee?

Fal. Ay, that there was, mine hoft, one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

SCENE

Enter Bardolph.

IX.

Bard. Out, alas, Sir, cozenage! meer cozenage!
Hoft. Where be my horfes? fpeak well of them, varletto.
Bard. Run away with the cozeners; for fo foon as I

came

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