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"Tis yet an Embrio, and there are divers Opinions. about the Birth of it. Some expect it will spring from his wife Noddle, like Minerva from the Head of Jupiter, and work Wonders. Others, that it will resemble Milton's Figure of Sin coming from the Brain of the Father of Lies. Ther, fáy they, it will damn: its Parent's Reputation. But most are of Opinion, that my Brother has no Reputation to Jose, and therefore the Brat will be still-born. 'Tis possible also, he may miscarry of his second Epistle to Mr. Pope, though James Moore Smythe, Esq; is to officiate Man-Midwife.

When a Man of Quality is distinguished Wit, or an Encourager of it, I endeavour to strike him for a Dedication; but I have generally been to unhappy as to disguft my Patrons, by praising them in the wrong Place. For want of being acquainted with polite Life, I have unwittingly complimented a Person for an illustrious Birth, really owed his rise entirely to his Merit. Thus have I caused his Enemies to sneer, and, perhaps, to libel him for my squab Compliment; when, had I left him to his Choice, he had rather chofe my Satire than my Panegyric.

Us I am as famous as one of the Suitors in Homer's Orlylley, for dead-born Fests. Many a Sonnet of mine,

and several Bouts Rimez that were filled up by me, has Moore read, with his usual Modesty, at White's and the Drawing-Room, for his own, but as they were mere Slips of my Pen, and could be of no Advantage to iny Reputation, (low as it stands) I am contented to humour his Vanity, and forbear to claim them. I afsted in a pretty Play of Words on the Letter P, and the Advertisement of the Lady's Writing-Defk. Soon after I choppa Sides, and wrote the History of the Norfolk Dumpling, the Verses on the Norfolk Lantborn, Rebin's Reigy, Rebin's Game, The Fall of Martimer, and many other



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popular Libels on Persons who least deserved them ;

but the Reason of that was, because they were of "the Ministry: - Now is the Session of Parliament, and the Poé. tical Quarrels must give Way to she Political. Confequently the Affairs of State (as Abel in the Play of the Committee obferves) will lie heavy upon my Neck and Shoulders. It is a Custom among great Generals to send Spies into an Enemy's Camp; and among Politicians, to employ them in foreign Courts. I have therefore (as I am determined to oppose the Ministry) settled a secret Correspondence with seveTal Gentlemen of the Party-coloured Cloth; Men of Dignity! fuch as have no less an Honour than that of holding a Plate in the Presence of some certain Knights of the Blue Ribbon. My Bribe is a Pot of Ale, and my Intelligence the Scraps of Converfation that fall at the Table of great Minifters. By these I am enabled to discuss the Matters Pin Debate gress

of Soissons, to state the Debts of the Nation, to arraign the Conduct of those at the Helm, and to hold the Balance of Europe, with as much Ease as a Monkey does a Chesnut, in my own Paw.

The Time has been, when, after an Evening's hard Boofing, my Brother Bards (who have been what we call feedy, or Crop-lick) have bilked the publick House, and barbarously left me in Pawn for

the Reckoning On this Emergency I have written an Account of a parp and bloody Fight; a Vision in the Air, or a Wonderful Prophecy to be hawked about the Streets : And (would you believe it?) even these Productions of mine have passed for designed Wit, and I have lilently sneered, to find the Merit of them claimed and boasted of by Jemmy Moore.

I have sometimes taken it in my Head, that I might make a Fortune by writing

for the Stage. As Proof that I have an excellent Taste, I always de.



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spised the Tragedies of Shakespeare, Otway, Young, and Thomson ; and preferred with Admiration á certain Perfon's Operas at the Hay-Markét. I wonder that the Success of the latter should be applied to Mr. Handel's Music, or the Performances of Senesino, Faustina, and Cxtzoni : The Town in this have been fhamefully blind to the Merit of that Gentleman. He has followed the Ancients fo closely in the Propriety of his Conduct, the Unity of his Characters, the natural Variety of Parlions, the Strength of Sentiment, and 'the Elegance of Dic tion, that I here, invite him to join with me in an English Tragedy on an Opera Plan.mp3151 If the Gentleman thinks this too arduous an Un

2 dertaking, let us venture at a lower Caft! Without any Recourse to Wit, Humour, Natural Dialogue, Songs aptly introduced, or any other of thofe Trilles with which the Beggar's Opera abounds, we have one fure Comfort; that is, we cannot fall thort of many late Performances of that Kind, nor be excelled by Roome and his led Captain Concanen. Roome cannot excel me, unless he excels himself.

I have tried all Means (but that which Fools call honest ones) for a Livelihood. I'offered my Service for a secret Spy to the State, but had not Credit enough even for that. When it was indeed very low with me, I printed Proposals for a Subscription to my Works, received Money, and gave Receipts, without any Intention of delivering the Book. Tho 1 have been notoriously prophane, and was never at an Univerfity, I once aimed to be admitted into Orders; but being obliged to abscond lately from the Parish-Ufficers, on account of a Bastard Child, and falling besides inta an unlucky Salivation, my Character was so fcandalous, that I could not prevail even on the lowest of the Fleet-Prison Parsons to sign my Testimonials.

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My Taft Attempt was to have been a travelling Tutor to some young Gentleman. If I am deficient in Claffic Learning, I could yet have instructed him in the Laws of his own Country; for though I never studied Coke upon Littleton, yet I have conversed with Bailiffs and petty-fogging Attornies; nay, I have conned over the Abridgments of Giles Facob ; I could also have read him Lectures of Polítics from Essays of my own in Weekly Journals. What, though I wanted Knowledge to make. Difsertations upon the Languages, Manners, Histories, Statues, Coms, Paintings, Architecture, or any other Curiosities, ancient or modern, of foreign Climes? What, though I could not have traced out any one Country in a Map? Could I not have pillaged Voyage-Writers, and have taken the Reports of Inn-keepers or Poftillions, to have told where there were good Wine, good Beds, buxom Girls, and tahl Steeples? Few foreign Tutors understand the dead Languages; but if they play at Cards, dance, talk of Things they never saw; or, having seen, could not understand; if they put on the swaggering Air of Half-pay Captains, and swear French military Oaths with a bon Grace, will they not pass for Men of Wit, Experience and Knowledge? I should have made a very fashionable Tutor, I would have fpirited up my Pupil to run away with a Nun; and, if he aimed at smaller Game, not fcrupled being Pimp. I have studied Physic under the Anodyne Necklace Doctor, and would have prepared and exported a whole Cargo of Anti-venereal Pills for his Safety. No one, I am persuaded, will blamé me if I took this Opportunity of feathering my own Neit. I should perhaps have made him pay Ten per Cent. for his own Money, when I difbursed it, and a Guinea on many Occasions for his Honour, Twenty Shillings of which I might have put in my own Pocket. Who knows but I might


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id! have married some rich Widow, by securing my Pupil for one of her Daughters? I would have contrived he should have stolen the young Lady to avoid paying her Fortune. If this Scheme failed, I had another, for which I am afraid I might have been a little censured, it was only to have set him at a Gaming-Table (when abroad) for about a thousand Pounds, and afterwards gone Snacks with the Sharpers. But on second Thoughts, where had been the Huit? When returned, and at Age, I could easily have made him Amends, by negotiating a Mortgage, or the Sale of a Reversion for him with honeft Ch-rt-r-s.

Thus, though I had but a hundred a Year, and for no more than two or three Years Service, I could retire to Switzerland, or Wales, with about Fifteen Hundred Pounds in my Pocket, and an Annuity of Fifty Pounds per Annum for Life. In such a Retirement I thould bave fat down to writing, an Account of my Travels. When those were finithed, by carefully extracting from Gazettes, I should have been able to have left my Executors the Memoirs of my own Times; then would I have indulged my Spleen against the present Ministers for neglecting to gratify my Merit. It is dangerous to anger 4 Poet or Historian.

I observed at the Head of this Letter, that I have a Drollery in my, Countenance; Egad! it is as per culiar a one as Roome's. We are so alike, that before hę scribbled himself into Preferment, we have actually been mistaken for each other, Our Looks are so happy, as to have passed off many a Saying in Conversation for Wit and Humour, that, where published, has been thought flat; Nay, the fame Thing has been said of me, as was uttered by a certain Wit (one very different from our Rank) on him, viz. that the R-ga's Misfortune is, he cannot print his Face to his Joke,


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