have married fome rich Widow, by fecuring my Pupil for one of her Daughters? I would have contrived he fhould have ftolen the young Lady to avoid paying her Fortune. If this Scheme failed, I had another, for which I am afraid I might have been a little cenfured; it was only to have fet him at a Gaming-Table (when abroad) for about a thoufand Pounds, and afterwards gone Snacks with the Sharpers. But on fecond Thoughts, where had been the Hurt? When returned, and at Age, I could eafily have made him Amends, by negotiating a Mortgage, or the Sale of a Reverfion for him with honeft Ch-rt-r-s. Thus, though I had but a hundred a Year, and for no more than two or three Years Service, I could retire to Switzerland, or Wales, with about Fifteen Hundred Pounds in my Pocket, and an Annuity of Fifty Pounds per Annum for Life. In fuch a Retirement I should have fet down to writing an Account of my Travels. When those were finifhed, by carefully extracting from Gazettes, I fhould have been able to have left my Executors the Memoirs of my own Times; then would I have indulged my Spleen against the prefent Minifters for neglecting to gratify my Merit. It is dangerous to anger a Poet or Hiftorian. I obferved at the Head of this Letter, that I have a Drollery in my Countenance; Egad! it is as peculiar a one as Roome's. We are fo like, that before he fcribbled himself into Preferment, we have actually been mistaken for each other. Our. Looks are fo happy, as to have paffed off many a Saying in Converfation for Wit and Humour, that, when published, has been thought flat: Nay, the fame Thing has been faid of me, as was uttered by a certain Wit (one very different from our Rank) on him, viz. that the R-g's Misfortune is, he cannot print his Face to his Joke. While I am thus delineating my Features, permit me to own, that I wish my Portrait might fhine in a Mezzotinto through the Glafs-Windows of Picture-Shops in Fleet-Street and St. Paul's ChurchFard; then should I be gazed on with Admiration by Mercers 'Prentices! But I will at least indulge my Vanity in appearing on a large Sheet of Paper, in a wooden Cut, which ingenious School-Boys may delight to colour with yellow and red Ochre. What a glaring Figure fhall I then make in the long Piazzas of Covent-Garden! I fhall be furrounded by venerable old Ballads; and several of my Family Pieces, fuch as the Sinners Coat of Arms, and the dreadful Sketches of Death, Judgment, and Damnation! Thence fhall I be tranflated to the naked Walls of Country Ale-houses, Cobler's Stalls, and Neceffary Houses!And thou, O R-me, thou who art my other felf! be this my Glory! however different our Fortunes, however unlike the Incidents of our Lives, yet whenfoever the Countenance of Ifcariot Hackney is feen, thy own dear Phiz will be called to Remembrance. In fhort, I am a perfect Town Author: I hate all Mankind, yet am occafionally a mighty Patriot. I am very poor, and owe my Poverty to my Merit; that is, to my Writings: I am as proud as I am poor; yet, what is feemingly a Contradiction, never ftick at a mean Action, when the Welfare of the Republick of Letters, or, in other Words, my own Intereft is concerned. My Pen, like the Sword of a Swiss, or the Pleading of a Lawyer, is generally employed for Pay: There is one Piece of Advice, Gentlemen, which I would propofe to you: If any Papers of a dead Wit fhould fall into the Hands of a Member of your Society, let him be fure to print them, though never fo derogatory to the Perfon's Reputation, to get himself Money; and if, among whole Heaps of indigefted Papers, he finds a few with Q4 large large Corrections and Additions by another eminent Hand (which he well knows) let him be fure to fupprefs that Circumftance in his Publication. But to return to myfelf-My Pamphlets fell many more Impreffions than thofe of celebrated Writers; the Secret of this is, I learned from Curll to clap a new Title-Page to the Sale of every half Hundred; fo that when my Bookfeller has fold two Hundred and Fifty Copies, my Book generally enters into the Sixth Edition. 'Tis reckoned a villainous Action to write a Libel, but more fo to father one on a Person who neither wrote it, nor approves it; now I own I never fcruple to do both. When a Man of Figure (perhaps an Ornament of his Country) has been cruelly afperfed in his Lifetime, I love to revive the Afperfion at his Death: It is Mirth to me to grieve a whole Family, by infulting his Memory before his Body is cold in the Grave. In this I imitate the Author of Sarah the Quaker in the Shades, to Lothario lately deceafed. Though I am fo ready to libel others, I am downright frightened if I but hear of a Satire where my Name is likely to be inferted. When a Perfon does me a Favour, I either fufpect he has fome Design on me, or thinks it less than my Due, and that he is obliged to me, because an Author, for accepting it. I am very testy if I am not allowed Dictator of my Company; nor had I ever a Friend, whom I did not in his Abfence facrifice to my Jeft. I contemn the Few who admire me, am angry with the Multitude who defpife me, and mortally hate all who have any Ways obliged me. I affure you, I am very famous for feveral Treatifes in Defence of Ingratitude: I never. fail to illuftrate them with the Examples of Marcus Brutus among the Ancients, and very eminent Statesmen among the Moderns. My private Refentment, like that of other Great Men, is always a publick Juftice. Now, Now, Gentlemen, if you like me for a Correfpondent, my Price is the Price of a Journalist, a Crown; and, in the Stile of a Love-Bargain, half Wet, half Dry. You may find me in a Morning at my Lucubrations over a Quartern Pot in a Geneva Shop in Clare-Market; a House where I propose many learned Interviews with Orator Henley, who has removed his Stage to that Place. I generally dine with a Brother Bard, at one of the little Cook's Shops near St. Martin's Church, and probably spend the Evening with him at a Night-Cellar in the Strand, where I fhall be ready to enter into a Treaty with you. From my Chamber, Yours, ISCARIOT HACKNEY. ま OF G REAT HOPE of BRITAIN! A Theme, which, to attempt alone, is Praise. Where never Science beam'd a friendly Ray, Let |