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Among the human Mortals; whom I lived in, the Chief was that snarling Philofopher Diogenes, the first Founder of Tub-Preachers. He was properly stiled the Cynic, on Account of his dogged Nature; of which I was truly the constituent Cause. From him I transinigrated into many other Bodies, which, at present, I have no Inclination to enumerate.
I shall hasten to the Period at which I assumed the Form I am now in: I had the Honour to be transmitted into the Carcafe of a Puppy sprung from a polite Lady's favourite Lap-Dog: My Education was the tenderest imaginable : The Lady's Son and Heir was not brought up with more Delicacy, Care, and Affection. Unluckily for me, my Parent had not been quite so curious in her Choice of an Helpmate : I soon discovered Marks of a Mungrel Breed, and shewed evident Promises of an unfashionable Size and Shape. In fine, I was expelled the soft Velvet Cushion of the Drawing-Room, and sent down to the hard Mattrafs of the Servants Hall.
Before I had passed the Nonage of Puppy-hood, I found myself transported to an Alehouse Kitchen: for the Servants were worn out with my continual Yelping at my indelicate Situation: the Lady ceased to enquire after me; and they were glad to get rid of me at any Rate. My new Master of the Taphoufe clapped me up into a wooden Whirligig, and fet me to work at what is called Spinning of RoastMeat. My Limbs, alas! never inured to Service, and before always indulged in the Luxury of Indolence, could not submit to such toilsoine Employment: Blows only disheartened me; and I learnt the mean Practice of those daftard Curs, that skulk away in Corners, when they are wanted to get Dinner.
After I had encreased considerably in Bulk, almoft too big for the Service I was destined to, a CoachG 2
man, who used to drink at our House, was charmed with my Spots : He begged me, easily obtained me, and I was carried to the Stable ; where my Spirit was fo broken, that I with Pleasure fuffered the dirty Hands of Grooms to clap me on the Back, and stinking Poftillions to spit in my Mouth. But my Pride made me more than Amends; for wherever the Coach went, I was always carried in the Boot, and stuck myself up erect upon the Foot-board: I then thought the Horses, and all, were at my Command : and like the Fly upon the Wheel, I attributed to myself the mighty Dust that was raised about me.
I was a very docile Creature, and at Times had been taught to fetch and carry, to stand upon my hind Legs, to yawn at Command, and to play a thoufand Tricks that servile Dogs are obliged to submit to. This procured me the Good-will of the grinning Vulgar, and gained me many a cast Bone as a Reward for my Ingenuity.
At Length the famous Bampfylde More Carew, (well known in the Country by the Name of Dogftealer) came to the Town where we were : He scraped Acquaintance with me among others of my Species; and enticed us along with him by a Charm no less powerful than the Cake, which quieted the Triple-headed Cerberus. For myself, not having been initiated in any of the rustic Sports, he fold me to a Mountebank at the next Village for Sixpence Dry and a Pot of Flip. With this my new Master and his Merry Andrew, I travelled over several Parts of England, and contributed my Share to their Impofitions on poor, ignorant, gaping Clowns. He taught me, upon taking some innocent Composition, immediately to counterfeit myself ded: I would throw myself into the most convulsive Agonies, 'till, upon applying a trifling Liquor to my Nostrils, I could spring up briskly upon my legs,
fhake myself, wag my Tail, skip about, and show all the evident Tokens of my speedy Recovery.
Poverty, and the Apprehensions of a Gaol, drove my Master at last to seek a Refuge in France. Here it was that I first had an Interview, which foon ripened into Intimacy with the famous Chien Savant, who was then learning those Exercises, which he has since exhibited with so much Applause in England.
I was struck with his Ingenuity : I studied his Practices; and in copying after this great Original, I found myself able to make many Improvements on them. However, I chose to conceal my Talents, 'till I should get a favourable Occasion to exert them.
After Monfier Le Chien had been fome Time settled in England, the ingenious Artist, under whose Tuition I now am, came to Boulogne on the same Errand with my Master. He had seen the sagacious Performances of Le Chien: And when he saw a Specimen of mine, he was in Raptures to meet a Dog of his own Country, that might, at the same Time I brought Profit to himself, do Honour to the Nation. In a Word, he soon struck up a Bargain with my Owner, who having no farther Use for me in his medical Capacity, parted with me without Reluctance: and I revisited once more my dear native Land England.
I have ever since been preparing for Exhibition : My Instructor, resolving I should exceed the Foreigner's Sagacity, has taught me to distinguish the Greek Alphabet, of which I am now perfect Master from Alpha to Omega. I can even found some of the Letters almost to a Degree of Speaking; as the x &c. but particularly the p; which I can growl out (especially when asserting my Poffession to a Bone) with such a guttural Emphasis, as Mr. Molop, whom I've heard my Owner talk of, cannot equal . G3
To conclude.-My Countrymen are fond of Novelties: They love every thing that is strange and unnatural : I have therefore a just Right to their Favours : and if they are not blinded by that National Partiality to Foreigners, I don't doubt but I shall easily convince them, that the Most Amazing and Sagacious English Dog, far exceeds the Famous French Chien Şavant, at least, let the old Proverb affist me, which tells us, Every Dog has his Day.'
HERE are some Characters that seem formed
by Nature to take Delight in struggling with Opposition, and whose most agreeable Hours are passed in Storms of their own creating. The Subject of the present Sketch was perhaps of all others the most indefatigable in raising himself Enemies, to thew his Power in subduing them; and was not less employed in improving his superior Talents, than in finding Objects on which to exercise their Activity. His Life was spent in a continued Confict of Politics; and, as if that was too short for the Combat, he has left his Memory as a Subject of lasting Contention,
It is indeed no easy Matter to preserve an acknowledged Impartiality, in talking of a Man so differently regarded on Account of his Political, as well as his Religious Principles. Those whom his Politics may please, will be sure to condemn him for his Religion ; and, on the contrary, those most strongly attached to his Theological Opinions, are the most likely to decry his Politics. On whatever Side he is regarded, he is sure to have Opposers, and this was