In this state of mind Lady Maxwell continued, with little variation, during the two following years. She scrupulously examined every step of her progress, and was extremely jealous lest she should err. Fear and hope alternately prevailed. Her desires, however, continued ardent, and her determination to live to God remained unaltered. She had likewise become zealous in the cause of religion, and was deeply affected when any thing occurred calculated to stain its purity, or to lead the unwary to question its reality. Something of this nature had happened in Edinburgh, which led her ladyship to state the matter to Mr. Wesley. This drew from him the following reply: 66 Newcastle-upon-Tyne, May 6, 1766. "MY DEAR LADY,-It was well that I did not hear any thing of a trial you lately had, till it was past. You have great reason to bless God that this did not turn you out of the way. You might very easily have inferred from it that all these people are alike; and thence have given way to a thousand reasonings, which would have brought you into utter darkness. But it is plain you are not left to your own weakness. You have a strong helper. The Lord stands on your right hand, therefore you are not moved. And I make no doubt that he will continue to help, till his arm bring you salvation. But, in the meantime, you have need of patience; and the more so, because you have a weak body. This, one may expect, will frequently press down the soul; especially till you are strong in faith. But how soon may that be, seeing it is the gift, yea, and the free gift, of God? Therefore it is never far off. The word is nigh thee! Only believe! Look unto Jesus! Be thou saved! Receive out of his fulness grace upon grace; mercy, and grace to keep mercy. "On the 24th instant I hope to be at Edinburgh, with my wife and daughter. But perhaps you will see the salvation of God before you see, my dear lady, "Your ever affectionate servant, During the year of 1767, Lady Maxwell appears to have suffered much from bodily indisposition: this might be partly occasioned by the exercises of her mind; but her constitution, ever since the death of her husband, had been extremely delicate. All that is necessary to throw light on her religious progress this year will be found in the following letter, and in two extracts from her papers. These shall be given in the order of their dates. "Norwich, Feb. 23, 1767. "MY DEAR LADY,-For a considerable time I was under apprehensions that you were in a state of temptation. And as I had no other way of helping you, this put me upon commending you the more frequently to Him that is able to save you. Your last, therefore, was doubly acceptable to me, as it relieved me from my fears concerning you, and gave me the occasion of rejoicing over one for whom I have the most sincere and tender affection. Sure it is that the grace of God is sufficient for you, in this and in every trying hour. So you have happily experienced it to be already and so, I trust, you will experience to the end. But you must not imagine that you are yet out of the reach of temptation: thoughts will be suggested again and again : so that you have still need to be : 'For ever standing on your guard, And let my dear friend keep at the utmost distance from temptation, and carefully shun all occasions of evil. O it is a good, though painful fight! You find you are not sent a warfare at your own cost. You have Him with you, who can have compassion on your infirmities; who remembers you are but dust; and who, at the same time, has all power in heaven and earth, and so is able to save you to the uttermost. Exercise, especially as the spring comes on, will be of greater service to your health than a hundred medicines and I know not whether it will not be restored in a larger measure than for many years, when the peace of God fixes in your heart. Is it far off? Do not think so! His ear is not heavy! He now hears the cry of your heart!And will he not answer? Why not to-day? Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly! Your openness obliges me to be more than ever, my dear lady, your affectionate friend and servant, : JOHN WESLEY." "March 14, 1767. Having a view of going to the Lord's table to-day, though distressed in mind and weak in body, and without those comfortable views which I formerly had; yet, being convinced that without God I must be miserable, and knowing that there is no access to him but through the Son of his love, I desire, in his strength, to give myself up to him. Lord, make me more willing; remove what hinders; make this surrender effectual; and ratify it in heaven, for Christ's sake. O give me to profit more by the ordinance than formerly: Lord, draw me, and I will run after thee: O quicken me, and I will call upon thee; and make me, O Jesus, thine in time and for D. M." ever. "October. The Lord in mercy having spared me until now, and as he is now giving me another opportunity of going to his Son's table, and having been very merciful to me since I was last there, I would here record his goodness; take shame and confusion to myself for past unfaithfulness, and renew my engagements to be his for ever. O God, thou hast been good; to thee be endless praise! Upon mature deliberation, still see it my greatest honour, and desire it as my highest privilege, to be devoted to God; and therefore, in thy strength, O Jehovah, in thy name, O Jesus, I again cheerfully desire to give myself to the Lord, soul, body, and spirit, for time and eternity. O let it be effectual; and to-morrow, at thy table, shine upon me, and give me power to live more to thee than hitherto, for Christ's sake. D. M." 66 And now the day of her redemption drew near. The vision had tarried, but she had also waited for it. She had long gone on her way weeping, bearing precious seed; now she returns, bringing her sheaves with her. The horizon had been dark, and at times cheerless; but the overhanging cloud of condemnation passeth away, being dissipated by the glorious Sun of righteousness servile fear gives place to filial love; faith lays hold of the atonement, and her heart is filled with joy and gladness;or, to speak in Scripture language, a language which nothing but barefaced infidelity will attempt either to deride or explain away, "Being justified by faith, she had peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ," and "rejoiced in hope of the glory of God." This happy change (alluded to in a former extract) she has stated in the following explicit and circumstantial manner :April 4, 1768. For some weeks the Lord had more than ever given me to see my great wretchedness by nature, and had written tekel upon all I had done or could do. This greatly distressed me; I knew not which way to turn. My foes were increasing, and, to my apprehension, my strength weakening. I thought God dealt hardly with me; my carnal mind boiled in enmity against him. I was impatient and fretful,—the terrors of hell often took hold of me, and the fears of death were strong. I sunk down, and a cloud overshadowed me. My reason was utterly unable to assist me; nay, I seemed to be denied the use of it so as to be able to draw any rational conclusion respecting my state. To heighten my distress, I was in a sea of temptation it seemed a critical time; either God must help or I perish. In great mercy he did send me some help, by the prayer and conversation of one of his servants; who, among other things, told me the Lord was humbling me previous to deliverance. I obtained a degree of relief from what he said, and, in the evening, was much profited under his sermon from Isaiah XXXV, 3, Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees. Two days after, Providence brought to my hand The Experience of a Good Man. The part I read treated of faith. By this means I obtained a view of faith which, in a good measure, agreed with another account I had read a few days before. But I could not then receive it; now I was brought to acquiesce, and in a measure led to the exercise described by the writer, and determined to wait the issue. I mean, believing in Christ, with a degree of persuasion that he would appear in my behalf. On the following Sabbath I went to church, and prayed to God that, if what had passed in my soul was from himself, he would give me some token of it. Mr. Webster lectured on Acts xvi, 17. I was disappointed; but during his sermon from the 31st verse, 'Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved,' the power of God was present, and I received a measure of faith I had not formerly possessed. I was made to see Christ as entirely suited to me; my understanding, will, and affections were wrought upon: I was made willing to accept Christ with his cross: to believe he would give me all I stood in need of, and finish what concerned me. I was glad for the consolation, and held him fast all day, still expecting a greater manifestation. In the afternoon Dr. Erskine preached from, Ye that love the Lord, hate evil.' Among other things, these words came with power, 'Behold, thou art made whole; sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee.' At night, by plausible reasoning, Satan almost robbed me of all, but I again got power to look to Jesus, and found my cure. On Monday and Tuesday I still held fast the beginning of my confidence. On Tuesday night I was constrained to praise God for his goodness, for, though in company, I found much peace, my anchor being fixed. Wednesday, Thursday, and till Friday evening, it cost me hard struggling. I saw my great wretchedness, felt my own emptiness, and had almost given up my hold, concluding I had given way to what had displeased the Lord. Friday night, the subject preached upon was 'Christ manifested in the flesh to take away our sins.' This, through the day, I had been praying to feel. During the sermon I was variously agitated; now hoping, and again driven back, because I did not feel power to relinquish all; and still feared I had done wrong; but before the sermon was concluded my mind was cheered, and my hope increased; and on coming home, my peace began to flow as a river. I was astonished :-knew not what to make of it, and was afraid of delusion. Having been so long inured to distress, I started back at joy, and thought it could not be for me. I again prayed to God, that if this happy change was wrought by him, it might continue, and I be enabled to walk worthy of it; but if from the enemy, it might be taken away; as I would rather choose sorrow from himself, than be allowed to deceive myself. Still it continued. I was afraid to go to rest, lest I should lose the enjoyment; and all that day, I cannot express what I felt. All condemnation was removed, I could not help believing, being so sweetly constrained to it. I was much inclined to silence, prayer, and meditation. A sense of divine love preserved in me a calm composure of spirit: it seemed all'a sacred awe that dares not move.' My heart was made to say, 'I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up nor awake my love till he please.' On the Sabbath following, Mr. Plenderleith lectured on Gal. v, 1, 'Stand fast, therefore, in the liberty wherewith Christ has made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.' I found it suitable, and was blessed. He preached on 1 Thess. iii, 3. I prayed to the Lord that he would again set his seal to the work, and show me clearly if he had given me saving faith; and while the minister was describing a true faith, the Lord, in great condescension, gave me his Spirit to witness with mine that he had bestowed upon me that precious gift. I felt it clear, full, and satisfactory, far beyond all human evidence. Between sermons I found my mind hurt, and a degree of condemnation which terrified me. In the afternoon, under Mr. Webster, the Lord again spoke peace to me, and I was restored. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I had peace, and a measure of love. On Thursday, at Leith, being the fast day, Mr. Walker preached from Heb. xiii, 9, 'It is a good thing that the heart be established with grace.' Again the Lord wit nessed to the work, and I was made happy; but at night a great storm was raised, and I was afraid I should lose all. I was astonished I could not love God more; was in misery, and very nearly gave up my confidence. On Saturday I heard a sermon from Heb. xii, 24: but I was not very lively. All that night I had power to believe, but could not obtain that gale of heavenly affections I desired to enjoy. On Sunday morning I was indisposed in body, and not much alive in my soul; but grew better, and the Lord abundantly blessed my provision, though, in the act of communicating I was not a little disappointed, as my expectations were great: but all day I had sweet peace in believing. To-day Mr. Johnson* preached from Luke xxi, 40, And when he was at the place, he said unto them, Pray that ye enter not into temptation. I received it as sent unto me, and per ceived my danger, my need, and also my safety, namely, in prayer and looking to Jesus. O praises, eternal praises, be ascribed to my God. 'Now I have found the ground wherein Sure my soul's anchor may remain : The wounds of Jesus for my sin, Before the world's foundation slain; Whose mercy shall unshaken stay, When heaven and earth are fled away."" The Rev. Messrs. Webster, Erskine, Plenderleith, Walker, and Johnson were pious and able ministers in the Established Church of Scotland. They evidently stood high in the esteem of her ladyship; and from them, under God, she received substantial benefit. How remarkably appo site to the state of her mind were the passages spoken from on this eventful occasion! He who sends by whom he will send, can direct his faithful servants in their selection of subjects, and by their instrumentality communicate seasonable consolation to the soul that seeks him. There is a pensive pleasure attending the recollection of the labours of such men, "Our fathers, where are they? the prophets, do they life for ever?" |