Oct. 29. Though confined almost constantly since last date, the 9th instant, it has yet been a season wherein I have had much cause for praise, unceasing praise. O how has the scale of divine love preponderated! While afflicted in body, how has my God compassed me about with his gracious presence and precious promises; not only for natural life, but also that my soul should prosper; that my bodily complaints should be overruled for his glory, and I spared to be an ornament to his church. Amen. Lord, all things are possible to thee. O bless me with that degree of faith that smiles at impossibilities, and says, It shall be done. For some weeks past I have felt as if come, by faith, to the general assembly and church of the first-born, and to the spirits of just men made perfect. O to be able to praise my God as I wish I would my every breath were prayer and praise. Speak, holy Father, and it shall be so. Yesterday, in conversation with a Christian friend or two, the divine presence so filled the place, and also my soul, as is impossible to express. I adore the great meritorious Cause of these great privileges. O Lamb of God, what hast thou done for sinners! Eternity alone can develope the great mystery of thy inexpressible love. While in the body how little are we capable of receiving.

Dec. 17. Since the 8th instant my spiritual enjoyments have rather increased, as have also my bodily strength and spirits. During this tedious illness, I have been kept dreading too great attention to the body; and have felt grateful, for some days past, to feel that I am gradually rising, by returning health, above these paltry concerns. I would always live in a spirit of sacrifice. Still confined from the house of God, I feel my loss, and look forward with comfort to the enjoyment of that privilege. Of late have found secret prayer, and searching the Scriptures, sources of increasing comfort. Yesterday the Lord was sweetly present with me in the morning, and greatly comforted me through the channel of his word; and also while joining a few Christian friends in prayer, praise, and Christian conference. Afterward, in company with a larger circle, with gratitude I would acknowledge the goodness of the Lord, in giving a greater power to speak of the deep things of God than I expected, considering my present weakness. O that I might love him more. Speak, Lord, and it shall be so; kindle a stronger flame of divine love than ever in my heart: ever keep it alive.

Feb. 25, 1803. On taking up my pen, at this time, to make mention of the goodness of my God, I feel my heart going out after him, and all that degree of his fulness that the feeble powers of humanity can admit. O Lord, what is man that thou hast been so mindful of him; made such ample, yea, superabounding provision for his eternal welfare; and while in this vale of tears dost so graciously and so frequently give him to drink of the brook by the way; whereby his head is lifted up, and a song of

praise put in his mouth? Thou dost, blessed Lord, greatly magnify the riches of thy grace in thy dealings with thy people: O for a heart to praise thee: Olet my every word, thought, act, be praise. Detained last Lord's day from his house, which I felt a keen trial, but I was favoured with the most delightful meditations upon, and enjoyment by faith of, future glory. It is impossible to express the clear and powerfully impressive views I had of the Father and the Son, seated on the throne of glory; but I look for far greater things, as it respects conformity to the divine image. This my soul thirsteth for with vehement desire. Condescend, holy Father, to fulfil these desires; surely they are implanted by thy Spirit. Enjoyed repeated opportunities, these days past, of endeavouring to do good to saints and sinners. Lord, thou canst bless the most inadequate means, and thereby render them effectual. On Thursday, felt rather cast down, from various natural causes; I cried unto the Lord, who in tender compassion gave ear unto my supplications, and dealt most bountifully with me, and those present. He made it a time of great refreshing, by a plenitude of the divine presence. My whole soul felt deeply solemnized. The veil of the temple seemed to be rent, and access given to enter into the holy of holies. I feel truly unworthy of all his goodness. Blessed Jesus, it is bestowed for thy sake; make and keep me humble. I feel, I bless God, I deeply feel my poverty; mercies bestowed do not make me high minded. The higher I am raised by these frequent and precious manifestations, the deeper I seem to sink; may it ever be so.

May 27. The increase of, nearness to, and communion with Deity, with which I was favoured on Monday the 23d, through the goodness of my God, still continues, though the adversary has made various attempts to rob me of it. Yet I am constrained to follow on; I cannot rest in what is already bestowed. My views grow more extensive of the privileges of Christians, of that holy familiarity with Deity which Christ has purchased for them; of those superior degrees of conformity to the divine image they may expect who through grace are determined to be all for God; to seek and find their all in him. My feeble pen cannot describe all I see by faith on this subject; I also sweetly taste of it. O that both may continue and increase.

Sept. 23. The Lord God Omnipotent reigneth. Here is a solid source of consolation, amid all these shakings of the nations, these violent attempts for the subversion of all order and good government; these subtle, various, and Satanical endeavours to destroy the belief of the truth as it is in Jesus; yea, to undeify the great Author of life and salvation; and thereby, if possible, to rob the Christian of his well grounded hope of eternal happiness. How vain all these feeble attempts. "He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh; the Lord shall have them in derision;

he shall break them with a rod of iron, and dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel." The foundation Jehovah hath laid for the hope of his people standeth sure the gates of hell shall never prevail against it. Lord, open the eyes of deluded sinners, before their feet stumble upon the dark mountains; and O may I praise thee now, and through all eternity, that thou hast opened mine, not only to see my danger, but to escape it; and also allowed me such delightful communion and fellowship with the Father and the Son as still keeps me pressing on. Lord, quicken my pace.

CHAPTER XXXVII.-1804-7.

Diary continued.

January 27. Still the monument of sparing mercy, and stiil much cause given me to say, “Bless the Lord, O my soul," for past and present favours. How grateful ought I to be. Last Lord's day morning, in secret, I was led to plead for much of the divine presence. In my way to the house of God, I looked up for the answer of prayer, and not in vain. The sacred Three. drew divinely near; and still nearer when singing the praises of my God. In public I seemed to get in spirit above all created good; my soul soared beyond the skies. The subject under discussion afforded much profit and delight: the Lord shone gloriously upon my soul, and my spiritual enjoyment was exquisite. I proved my union with the Lord Jesus inexpressibly intimate and close; while my views of the Father and the Holy Spirit were as clear to the eye of faith as the sun in his meridian brightness, and at the same time most impressive: this continued for some days.

May 25. I have been confined to the house with a severe cold, but had much cause to bless the Father of mercies that he gave me health to attend at the annual examination of my week-day school. I had the satisfaction of dismissing a goodly number of scholars well taught, and of putting into the hand of each that sacred volume which, with the blessing of the Lord, is able to make them wise to salvation. O God, seal the truth it contains upon each of their hearts; and O, give thy peculiar countenance to those now received to supply their place. Without this, all my attempts to profit my fellow creatures, whether old or young, will prove ineffectual. Encouraged by thy faithful word of promise, that I shall turn many to righteousness, however unlikely, speaking after the manner of men, I desire to be found continually occupied in whatever has either a more immediate or remote tendency to effect this great purpose. Though

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prevented the use of the public means of grace this week, yet my God has been gracious; he has been ever with me. Yesterday, he was unspeakably good during our little meeting. Some time before it, when looking up to him for his presence, a most solemn sense of eternal things rested upon my mind; much sacred awe filled my breast; and when engaged he gave me liberty to speak of the deep things of God, as felt in my own soul, and I trust under an unction from on high. How great my obligations! How poor my returns!

September 28. I have reason to think that the work of grace in my soul is going forward. My intercourse with Deity increases my God deals most tenderly and liberally with me. May I to the utmost improve his condescending goodness. He has, in a sensible manner, heard my prayer, put up on the second instant. I do feel more independent of the creature; of course, I rely more on the Creator, and not in vain. Lord, I would, more closely and humbly than ever, walk with thee. Increase my power. Have had several sweet seasons since last date. Yesterday, especially, my heart felt lifted up when speaking of the things of God. I was deeply impressed with a sense of his astonishing love in the redemption of sinners, and enjoyed unusual liberty of speech when dwelling on the pleasing, the delightful theme. But O, how little of that vast plan can our limited powers take in! even angels themselves, those bright intelligences, far superior to man, are represented as desiring to look into, and deeply to consider this stupendous mystery. Surely Jehovah himself alone knows the height and depth of it.

October 19. The God of all grace and consolation still remembers his unworthy creature for good. On Lord's day morning, in public, I did not wait upon my God in vain. On Monday, all day, I enjoyed a plenitude of the gracious presence of the Trinity. What clear notice of the truth of this mysterious doctrine does the Lord impress upon my mind! What comforts flow from it! Yet I seldom make it a subject of discussion, though I firmly believe it. My limited powers may not be able to conceive how three persons can exist in one numerical essence, nor am I called to it: God has said it, and that is enough. The delightful fellowship I enjoy with each of these sacred persons brings with it a deeper and more experimental conviction of the truth of the doctrine, than ten thousand most conclusive arguments could ever effect.

December 28. For these days past, I have been asking of my God to grant me a token for good, before the expiration of this year; and, of a truth, he has heard and answered my request oftener than once. More especially, on Tuesday morning, in public, when singing his praises before sermon, Jehovah not only drew nigh in all the grandeur of Deity, but his glory seemed to fill the place. No language can express what I felt, or how I

felt. I have had many solemn manifestations of the kind, but this exceeded them all wonder and love pervaded my whole soul while I sunk into nothing before the great I AM. great and good ends may be answered by it.

O that

February 9, 1805. Through the tender mercy of my God, I have been enabled to make many exertions in the path of duty, in the course of these last eight days, which to nature appeared most formidable; but, through divine aid, I easily accomplished them. Have also gained several victories over self in the same way. Help, Lord, to retain the ground gained. Yesterday, the Lord drew sweetly near, while calling on him in our little meeting. It is truly in general a very profitable one, and no less comfortable. How uniformly does the God we love, and endeavour to serve, favour us with his gracious presence; not only during the meeting, but in conversation after it. These two last Thursdays I felt uncommonly stirred up; yea, as it were, impelled to press on my own heart, and the hearts of all present, the great necessity of living for eternity. How trifling and insignificant the things of time, when compared with those of an eternal world.

September 13. Since the second ultimo I have been confined to my chamber, and much to my bed; my mind has been flat; my spirits weak; and my nerves a good deal affected, by the effects of a fever. Yet, through the tender mercy of God, the adversary is in a great measure chained up. How good is the Father of mercies! He is again, as often formerly, beginning to restore me to a measure of health, though very slowly. How many the temporal mercies enjoyed in this long season of affliction. Every outward accommodation, kindness, and all proper medical assistance, &c., &c. O for gratitude! Yesterday my God drew near; Jehovah came down, and my soul rejoiced. O Lord, come nearer still; fully restore and perfect what concerns body, soul, spirit, and cutward estate.

27. Through mercy I still live, and continue to gain a little upon my bodily affliction, and experience many mercies: but still langour of mind and weakness of nerves try me. At times my God draws near: he did so yesterday, (Thursday,) and answered prayer. I trust it is only an alteration of enjoyment, not of possession; but even this is painful. O my God, quickly come, and fill with all thy communicable fulness. I am thankful for power to speak for God, and the profit of my fellow creatures. Lord, follow simple language with divine power; then shall thy promise be fulfilled, that I shall "turn many from darkness to light, and strengthen the brethren." How insipid is all created good without intimate fellowship with Deity! My mind is at present exercised about some important business, which affects my spirits; though the Lord has condescended to favour me with many precious promises respecting the success