much prudence and wisdom to determine the manner and the time: a deep consciousness of this often deters me.

7. Alas, I have done little or nothing for God to-day. I long to be active as fire for him, and steady as the needle to the pole. I seem at present to lead a useless life. Lord, point out my way; show me if there is any thing I can do for thee. I grieve to live as a piece of live lumber in the world. I hope to have yet something to do; what it is I know not. I trust this hope and desire flow not from ostentation, but gratitude to that God who has done so much for me. Had I thousands, I think, through grace, I would spend them in propagating the gospel, in spreading the knowledge of Jesus, "that blessed name that charms my fears, and bids my sorrows cease." O what music is in the sound. Often when I read or hear it, my heart (if I may use the expression) vibrates like a musical chord when its unison is struck.

25. In the evening, though indisposed, felt much desire to go to the house of God; which I did, but was disappointed. The word came with no power, and my joy was a little inter-rupted from a consciousness of unfaithfulness. This by some may be termed a legal spirit; yet I can hardly see it possible how a real Christian can converse with the word of God, and also study his own heart and experience, and not be sensible that his comfort increases or diminishes according to his close or careless walking with God. I do not know that any can be more willing to ascribe the whole of man's salvation to free grace; yet, I confess, I see such a close connection between the reception of this grace, and a constant attempting to walk before God unto all well pleasing, and a diligent use of every ordinance of the Lord's appointing-that, to speak my own experience, I never in any measure separate them but I suffer loss in my soul. Yet in this and all other matters, I would speak with the greatest modesty, conscious of my ignorance; and therefore desire never to advance my own opinion, either in conversation or writing, upon any subject, without wishing, if it be wrong, that I may be convinced of it, either by God or man.

28. I have cause to remark the goodness of the Lord, who has in some measure appeared to me in a particular trial, the weight of which in part I still feel and fear. There are some occurrences in the course of Providence which, taken separately, or only considered in themselves, seem of little account, especially to the careless spectator; but, when viewed by the eye of faith, appear impressed with such remarkable characters of the divine favour and special goodness as add greatly to their intrinsic value. They then bring with them a sweet and powerful conviction of the interposition of a divine agency in our behalf. In the course of my small experience in the divine life, I have much to record of the goodness of the Lord as manifested in this

way. O how far short do I come in my returns for such a waste of love!

September 5. This morning, while in secret prayer, the Lord gave me a clear and strong persuasion that he was about to work a great deliverance for me, and seemed to show me in what way; and that, by the accomplishment of a certain event, it was his will to make good the promises powerfully impressed on my mind some years ago. The impression continued strong all the time I was at prayer. I cried earnestly to him, that if an enemy had done this he would rebuke the adversary, and obliterate the remembrance of it, but it still continued. If from himself, I felt as clay in the hands of the potter, willing to be moulded as he saw meet; nay, my natural will seemed quite broken, and sweetly flowed with his. I purposely refrain from mentioning the particulars of this manifestation till the accomplishment of these promises proves it to be of the Lord. He has in great mercy hitherto kept me from being deceived by dreams, visions, revelations, and all the train of evils consequent upon giving implicit credence to every impression made upon the mind; many of which owe their birth only to the operations of Satan, or a heated imagination; and I trust he will still keep me. But entirely distinct from this wild fire are the clear intimations which the Lord sees proper at times to give his people of what he is about to do for them, either in the way of deliverance from trouble, or of particular trials that are about to befall them, where perhaps his glory and the good of their souls are concerned. This is entirely agreeable to the experience of scriptural saints, as clearly appears from the account given of Abraham, Joseph, &c., and is corroborated by the testimony of many now living; among whom, if I may mention myself, I would say, poor and undeserving as I am, the Lord has condescended, oftener than once or twice, to deal thus with me. O how familiarly does God deal with his children.

27. I feel an increasing desire to be active for God, and a growing zeal for his glory. For some little time my meditations have been mostly confined to this one thing, what can I do for the Lord? Alas, my sphere is small, my circle very narrow; not so my desires: they compass kingdoms, and would subdue nations to God. O that my borders were enlarged: I partly believe they will. How are our fallen natures dignified by being permitted and empowered to love and serve God; yea, in being made partakers of the divine nature! How unfathomable the depths of redeeming love! Lord, strengthen and stir up thy unworthy servant to declare thy loving kindness, to testify of thy faithfulness, yea, to proclaim to all that thou art God; worthy to be praised and had in reverence. Alas, that I meet with so few who are like minded. Most think it is enough if they save their own soul. Some suppose it is presumption;

that, Uzzalike, they will be smitten by the Lord, if they put their hand to the ark. Others (strange imagination!) think, if they were to be active in the cause of Christ, or show any zeal for the glory of God, it would be to establish their own righteousness, a building salvation on a moral plan, and a pretending to add something to the finished salvation of Christ. For fear of this, they dare not do any thing. They sit down with their hands across, and rest satisfied that whatsoever is ordained will come to pass. Unquestionably, "known to God are all his works from the beginning," and his work shall be wrought, though not by them. They will lose much of the comfort they might have enjoyed here, and a great degree of that glory he would have given them hereafter. "For as one star differeth from another star in glory, so also is the resurrection of the dead." O, when shall we see that generous spirit of piety which prevailed among the primitive Christians revived? They were not satisfied with barely saving their own souls; they used all their influence for the good of others and the glory of God; all they had was devoted to his service. Not from mercenary views, or from supposing they could thereby gain eternal life. Nó, a much more generous motive stimulated their endeavours. The love of Christ constrained them. What a pity that this noble incentive to duty does not operate in a more powerful manner upon their successors. I am afraid the love of the world constrains many of them to a very different conduct. They do not enter so deeply into religion as to enjoy the comfort of it; of consequence, they seek happiness in the creature. This takes their hearts from God, and makes them drive heavily on in his ways; and perhaps, at last, when they come to die, they escape as with the skin of their teeth. It is hardly possible to express the folly of this conduct; it shows the deep and universal depravity of human nature; that men can prefer the husks of this world to communion with God. His will is, that we should walk all the day long with him, Enochlike, eying his glory in all we do, and consecrating all we have and are to him. This the apostle terms our reasonable service, but is it not also our highest privilege? Lord, let my future conduct show continually that I esteem it such! O save me from the errors that are so rampant among the professors of Christianity, in precept and practice, upon the right hand and the left. From dwelling too much upon the privileges of the gospel to the neglect of its precepts; and also from the leaven of Pharisaism, in supposing that the strictest attention I can pay to the duties of religion will merit my acceptance with God. May both be kept in their proper place.

Ebenezer, Since my last

December 11. I now take up my pen to set up my saying, "Hitherto the Lord hath helped me." date, he has appeared wonderfully in my behalf, and given me

to find it is not in vain to trust him. This he has enabled me to do for some time more than usual, even when all things seemed to make against me, and I have not been disappointed. He has wrought out a present deliverance for me, not in the way I looked for, but in his own way and time, which is best, This instance of his seasonable goodness has increased my faith, confirmed my hope, and strengthened my love. O that my future life may be wholly devoted to Him who has done so much for me, and who has given me cause to expect still greater things. This is wholly a temporal deliverance, but at the same time stands connected in some measure with my profession as a disciple of Jesus and is such a proof to me of the faithfulness and goodness of God, as I hope will prove very useful to me, in enabling me to trust in him with an unbounded confidence for the future.

19. I found the Beloved of my soul near in morning devotion; and in the forenoon my mind felt sweetly led out in heavenly meditations: all around me seemed God. With what propriety does the apostle say, "To be spiritually minded is life and peace." The soul that enjoys communion with God can witness the truth of the assertion. In proportion as this divine life prevails, a deadness to the things of time and sense increases, the perception of heavenly objects grows clearer, the soul sees God even in outward things, and endeavours to make his glory the ultimate end of every action; she consults him on all occasions, and finds direction in the minutest steps of life: whatever occurs, whether joyous or grievous, is carried to a throne of grace, where a degree of holy familiarity and nearness is allowed which is better felt than expressed. There the happy soul, without any reserve, pours all her joys and sorrows, her hopes and fears, into the bosom of a reconciled God and Father. If a trial is feared, it is either averted or power is given to bear it like a Christian. All desire of worldly things is lost, except as they stand more immediately or remotely connected with the glory of God; and, even in that case, all dependence upon an arm of flesh for obtaining them is removed. If a babe in Christ can witness the truth of these things, O what do the fathers enjoy? My God, let me know by happy experience.

20. Endeavoured to set apart this day for prayer, examination, and fasting, as far as my constitution would permit ; and I have cause to be thankful I felt a greater degree of heavenly mindedness than I generally feel on these occasions; and, if my heart did not deceive me, found reason to conclude I was not going back in the divine life. My reasons for thinking so were, First, my feeling for some time a greater power to cast all my cares on God and to trust in him than usual. Secondly, what follows of course, less dependence upon an arm of flesh. Thirdly, greater love to God, and more power to own him and

his cause before men. Fourthly, greater stability in his ways, and also more comfort, together with a growing desire to be wholly conformed, at least so far as humanity will permit, to his holy will. But O what cause did I also feel to blush, grieve, and be ashamed. Lord, rectify what is amiss, supply what is lacking, and give not over striving with me, till thy love has made an entire conquest, till I am lost and swallowed up in thee.

CHAPTER VII.-1772.

Remarks on the duty of fasting-On the sacrament of the Lord's supperThe manner in which it is administered in Scotland-Diary continued.

Ir was about this period that Lady Maxwell commenced a practice which has been already briefly adverted to, that of setting apart every Friday for the duties of fasting, self-examination, and prayer. To these solemn exercises, on this day, she regularly and conscientiously attended throughout the remainder of her life; and at these seasons she was generally favoured with more than ordinary consolation. How is it to be accounted for, that the duty of fasting is at present so little regarded by the generality of religious professors? The fast days of our forefathers are nominally retained; but there is abundant reason to suspect that the name of the thing is nearly all that remains of it. Is it because Christians have adopted a more regular and abstemious mode of living now, than did those of former times? Or, because some have attached a superstitious importance to this matter, do professors think it may be totally neglected by them with impunity? "Fasting," says Jeremy Taylor, is a proper, apt, natural, usual expression, and an exercise of repentance; it has some natural and many collateral advantages." "It is," observes another distinguished divine, "a help to prayer; particularly when we set apart large portions of time for private prayer. Then especially it is, that God is often pleased to lift up the souls of his servants above all the things of earth, and sometimes to raise them up, as it were, to the third heavens." It will be seen that Lady Maxwell, in her attendance to this duty, realized in her experience all the advantages here described.

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"The light in which her ladyship viewed the communion of the body and blood of her Lord deserves also to be particularly noticed. She looked upon this as an act of obedience to a solemn, binding command of her Redeemer, given at a time and under circumstances so awful and endearing to Christians, as should cause it ever to live in their remembrance; she viewed it as forming a bond of union among God's faithful followers, as being one of the nearest approaches to Deity, and most intimate