ceed them, the most unexpected. Keep me, keep me, gracious God, and never let me go. Since last night I felt a degree of unbelief which threatened to make dreadful havoc in my soul; but I cried to my God with strong cries, and he graciously interposed. Who is a God like unto our God, who passes by the transgressions of the remnant of his people. But I am vile, I abhor myself.

August 26. For the last three weeks I have been travelling for the benefit of my health. During that period I have seen and experienced much of the goodness of the Lord, and much of my own weakness and proneness to depart from the living God. Have endured strong temptations and trials, and have not been so faithful as I ought to have been; this has proved a source of much and keen distress. Lord, what is man! What am I! how wretched, poor, and miserable in myself. Even after all thou hast done for me, how unable to withstand the smallest temptation! Yet, in spite of all my unworthiness, how gracious is my God! At times, on the road, heaven itself seemed to be open: I might ask what I would. My communion with my God was near and delightful, and my union with Jesus intimate. On reflection, I seemed to have been employed rather in enjoying than in hungering after more. This spiritual feast was soon succeeded by a flood of temptations and trials, where, alas, I failed: yet the Lord did not cast me off, but sweetly melted down my heart with a godly sorrow for sin, and poured his love into my soul. O the goodness of God!

18. For the last two weeks I have been tried without intermission; yet have had many delightful moments, in which my God has been very near, and my Jesus very precious. Indeed I have it to say, to the glory of free grace, that I every moment behold God reconciled, through the Son of his love: though the degrees of sensible comfort and nearness to him greatly vary. I often feel such fiery darts from the enemy of my soul as almost terrify me: at other times, future trials are represented in such frightful colours that for a short time they fearfully unhinge me. In all these distresses, real or imaginary, I find no cure but in looking simply to Jesus, and cleaving close to him; but then he supports and comforts me.. The Lord has condescended to show me his will in a most astonishing manner, respecting one of my trials. But, alas! what shall I say? when the Lord has showed me his will I seem not to have power to comply: all within would oppose it. The struggle is great between a strong desire to sacrifice all, and obey my God; and an ardent desire to act so, in all things, as to secure the approbation of the thinking and judicious part of mankind. But, Lord,. if thou call me to give this up, yea, to forsake all and follow thee, Abrahamlike, I would cheerfully obey.

October 8. Endeavoured to set apart this day entirely for the

my

concerns of my soul, but was not relieved of my present load; I mean various trials pressing hard upon me. On the contrary, distress was greatly heightened by those from whom I expected help. O my God, I desire to say, in the midst of all, thou doest all things well. If I suffer, it is surely needful, and less than I deserve. O sanctify my troubles, and when thou seest meet remove them: only let me not be tried above what I am able, neither suffer me to mistake thy will. I commit myself and all my concerns into thy hands. O enable me to possess my soul in patience, until thou sendest deliverance. Be not thou a God afar off in the day of trouble, but nigh at hand, for thy great name's sake. The troubles of my heart are enlarged, O bring thou me out of my distresses. Remember thy precious promises. Let it not displease thee that I plead them with thee; I would bind thee with the girdle of thy own faithfulness. How mysterious are the ways of Providence. His paths are in the deep waters, his footsteps are not known. He giveth to none, account of his matters. Though not permitted to doubt of the favour of God, and having, besides, many precious promises on which to rely, I feel at present, like Jonah, as if in the belly of hell: so tempted, so tried, so tossed, so perplexed, so surrounded with mountains of difficulties! Lord, clothe me with the whole Christian armour, that I may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all to stand.

November 15. Felt unwell this morning, but was blessed in social prayer and Christian conversation. I was greatly animated, and all this day my expectations have been great respecting the accomplishment of some precious promises. I seem to have had at times a foretaste of the happiness I hope soon to enjoy. Surely my God is near, and he will turn again my captivity. I have expected every time I have gone to prayer that he would burst my remaining bonds asunder, and deliver me out of the hands of my enemies, that I may henceforward serve him in true holiness, without fear, all the days of my life. Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly.

December 18. The Lord has been gracious this week in restraining my enemies, and allowing me a measure of communion with himself; in blessing his word in reading, and by inclining me in every possible way to act for him. He has indeed made this a very comfortable day. In the morning I was tried, and for a moment I was ready to yield, but quick as lightning came the Lord to my assistance. I endeavoured to give the cause of the trial to himself; he comforted me, and has removed it. How tenderly does he deal with his children. He also to-day strengthened my hands by my helping others in different ways, especially in conversation and social prayer. In the former, when speaking of the Lord's second coming, he made me to rejoice with joy unspeakable; and while employed in the latter,

I was made to mount up on the wings of faith and love: God the Father felt benignly nigh. The joy of the Lord in a peculiar manner, this week, has been my strength. I have walked up and down in his name, rejoicing for the consolation. He has heard my prayers, and answered them, both for myself and others. On Tuesday I asked earnestly his comfortable presence, when intending to meet with a few Christian friends for prayer and religious conversation; and he was unspeakably gracious to us all. O how good is God! But Satan has varied his temptations. When much distressed in body and mind on many accounts, he tempted me to despondency and unbelief; now that the Lord is gracious, and has enlarged my borders in a spiritual way, he tempts me to self-approbation. But my soul abhors the thought: the Lord has made me as fearful of this abomination as of hell itself; nay, more. I have cried to the Lord against it; I have repeatedly fled to the blood of Jesus, and endeavoured to lie very low before my God, and the force of the temptation is abated.

29. For some time the Lord has been exceedingly gracious unto me. Last week he made me walk more immediately in his presence: appealing to him for what I did and left undone. My fellowship, in a low degree, was with the Father and the Son. My love to secret prayer, and power to abide in it more than usual, still continues; and though I do not always obtain immediate answers, I reap generally the fruit of it afterward; by finding, when with others, a power to keep my mind stayed upon God, to hold communion with him, and ability to converse with profit; it also keeps me more sensible of his presence wherever I am. He has of late condescended to bless serious conversation on religious subjects to my own soul and others; and also afforded me many opportunities to act for him, by doing good to my fellowcreatures. This, I thank God, is still my element; not from any expectation of gaining heaven by it-that I know is the alone purchase of the blood of Jesus, but from a more noble principle-love to Jesus, and a desire to glorify God. I would that all I have and am were devoted to him. Yesterday the Lord taught me a useful lesson. I had gone to his house with large expectations; and after waiting upon him in the use of the means, without feeling more of his power or love than I had brought with me, I grew dissatisfied, and felt a fear lest I should lose what I already possessed: immediately I felt a deep conviction that it was my duty and privilege to cleave as close to God when dry and barren, as when full of divine consolation. This, as if coming from above, penetrated to the centre of my heart, and brought with it a power to comply which led me to hope it was from God, and it has in some measure abode with me until now.

CHAPTER IX.—1774.

Remarks on Providence-Diary continued.

and in

DURING several months of the last and present year, deed at different periods of her life, Lady M. appears to have been greatly exercised, by being called to pass under dark and mysterious dispensations of Providence. She was habitually accustomed to adore Jehovah in his government of the world. She firmly believed that every event, small as well as great, was subject to his sovereign management and control; that the operations of his hands extended to all the minute circumstances of her life; and, therefore, gratefully relied upon the consolatory declaration, "The very hairs of your head are all numbered.", This, with her, as we shall have frequent opportunity to observe, was not an idle speculation, but a practical principle. She, therefore, diligently sought to know the will of God; not only as it related to the interests of her soul, but also to the arrangement of her temporal concerns; by studying his word; by persevering in prayer; by attending to the indications of his providence; and, in short, by acknowledging him in all her ways. Yet, at different seasons, she was permitted to wander through a tedious night of providential darkness, before she received the accomplishment of the promise, "He shall direct thy paths." It is in this way the Lord frequently "trieth the righteous," and calls into exercise their patience, their fidelity, their fortitude, their resignation. Yet his promise cannot fail; if they endure as seeing Him who is invisible, he will bring them forth as pure gold. The Christian believer should, therefore, never despond; should never give way, no not for a moment, to dishonourable thoughts of God. Though all around be gloomy and portentous, though not a single ray of light dart across his path, yet let him remember that all is under the guidance and direction of that almighty Being who has never once failed to deliver his people out of all their troubles.*

*The following judicious and practical remarks on this sublime subject, by a Lutheran divine, (vide Sohnii Op., tom. ii. art. 19, de providentia,) deserve the most serious attention. "Providence displays the wisdom, goodness, power, and other attributes of God; we should therefore study his perfections in it. The providence of God governs us with cool and consummate wisdom and goodness; we should therefore avoid all rash censures of it. God governs us with uncontrollable power; we should not therefore attempt to resist his government, as if we would provoke the Lord to jealousy, by pretending to be stronger than he. God governs by means; we should therefore neither tempt him by neglecting to use them, nor vainly abuse them to superstitious purposes. God extends his providential care over the most minute objects; therefore we should avoid anxious solicitude, and rely upon him for a supply of all our wants. Since, in providence, all instruments are to us only what it pleases God to make them, we should

January 17. Upon a review, as usual, of the past year, I found it had been a time of great trial from various quarters, and also of great consolation. Upon the whole, I had reason to conclude that I had made some small advances in the divine life : but when I considered the privileges which I had enjoyed, I saw much cause to be ashamed that I had attained no farther. I endeavoured to humble myself before the Lord, and to renew my covenant engagements to be his: this I found myself heartily willing to do, and he made it a profitable time to me. O that I may, if spared, be more faithful to my gracious God this ensuing year! Since its commencement I have experienced his goodness in many ways. Mercies and trials have been blended in an un

common way.

March 5. Still I am kept looking for a deliverance from spiritual foes, and also from temporal difficulties, that I have not yet experienced. My soul pants after a full enjoyment of my God; all things, persons, and places seem empty. O that he would quickly come! The attraction from above is powerful, though more in desire than in possession; yet the little I do enjoy creates such a fervour in my soul for more as admits of little or no delay; such a thirst as nothing but God himself can satisfy. In the midst of trials and temptations, both outward and inward, he keeps me strongly desiring, and feebly attempting, to embrace every opportunity that offers for glorifying him in every possible way. And in this he is not a barren wilderness to me, but comforts and strengthens my heart. Often, in tender mercy, he condescends to let me see he accepts of my desires to serve him; yet my heart is pained I do so little for him, that I love him so little, and am so little conformed to him. I have long esteemed his will very precious, and in some measure delighted in it; yet, alas, how often does my nature in some things spurn at it. Lord, this is my misery, my hell. O destroy all rebellion in it, with a sweet omnipotence: this, O my God, thy mighty arm alone can effect.

18. I hardly know what to make of my present situation. My views of spiritual objects seem clear, my faith pretty strong, and my desires after entire devotion ardent yet I feel, to my own apprehension, languid and dull; have little sensible comfort; not so much power to abide in secret prayer, and many wanderings, both in secret and family prayer. I feel in danger of take care never to sacrifice to our own net. However prudent our plans may be formed, and however successfully they may be executed, as all events depend on God, we should pray to him with submission and confidence. Since providence is the management of God, we should neither be proud in prosperity nor distrustful in adversity." Lady Maxwell appears to have had these important truths engraven on her heart by the finger of God; and the support which she thus secured to herself during seasons of severe trial is strikingly exemplified in very many of the fol lowing extracts.