FABLE VIII.

LOUIS FOURTEENTH'S WIG.

THE money rais'd-the army ready-
Drums beating, and the Royal Neddy
Valiantly braying in the van,

To the old tune "Eh, eh, Sire Âne!”*.
Nought wanting, but some coup dramatic,
To make French sentiment explode,

Bring in, at once, the goût fanatic,

And make the war " la dernière mode".

Instantly, at the Pavillon Marsan,

Is held an Ultra consultation—

What's to be done, to help the farce on?
What stage-effect, what decoration,

*They celebrated in the dark ages, at many churches, particularly at Rouen, what was called the Feast of the Ass. On this occasion the ass, finely drest, was brought before the altar, and they sung before him this elegant anthem, "Eh, eh, eh,

Sire Âne, eh, eh, eh, Sire Âne." - WARTON'S Essay on Pope.

To make this beauteous France forget,
In one, grand, glorious pirouette,

All she had sworn to but last week,
And, with a cry of " Magnifique !"
Rush forth to this, or any war,
Without inquiring once- "What for?"

After some plans propos'd by each,
Lord Chateaubriand made a speech,
(Quoting, to show what men's rights are,
Or rather what men's rights should be,
From Hobbes, Lord Castlereagh, the Czar,
And other friends to Liberty,)
Wherein he having first protested
'Gainst humouring the mob-suggested
(As the most high-bred plan he saw
For giving the new War éclat)
A grand, Baptismal Melo-drame,

To be got up at Nôtre Dame,

In which the Duke (who, bless his Highness! Had by his hilt acquir'd such fame,

'Twas hop'd that he as little shyness

Would show, when to the point he came,)

Should, for his deeds so lion-hearted,
Be christen'd Hero, ere he started;
With power, by Royal Ordonnance,
To bear that name- - at least in France.
Himself

the Viscount Chateaubriand

(To help th' affair with more esprit on) Offering, for this baptismal rite,

Some of his own fam'd Jordan water*.

(Marie Louise not having quite

Used all that, for young Nap, he brought her,)

The baptism, in this case, to be

Applied to that extremity,

Which Bourbon heroes most expose;
And which (as well all Europe knows)
Happens to be, in this Defender

Of the true Faith, extremely tender.†

Or if (the Viscount said) this scheme
Too rash and premature should seem

* Brought from the river Jordan by M. Chateaubriand, and presented to the French Empress for the christening of young Napoleon.

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+ See the Duke's celebrated letter to madame, written during his campaign in 1815, in which he says, J'ai le posterieur légèrement endommagé."

If thus discounting heroes, on tick

This glory, by anticipation,

Was too much in the genre romantique
For such a highly classic nation,
He begg'd to say, the Abyssinians
A practice had in their dominions,
Which, if at Paris got up well,
In full costume, was sure to tell.
At all great epochs, good or ill,

They have, says BRUCE (and BRUCE ne'er budges From the strict truth), a Grand Quadrille

In public danc'd by the Twelve Judges*.

And, he assures us, the grimaces,

The entre-chats, the airs and graces

Of dancers, so profound and stately,
Divert the Abyssinians greatly.

"Now (said the Viscount), there's but few "Great Empires, where this plan would do: "For instance, England;-let them take

"What pains they would-'twere vain to strive—

* "On certain great occasions, the twelve Judges (who are generally between sixty and seventy years of age) sing the song and dance the figure-dance," &c. Book v.

"The twelve stiff Judges there would make "The worst Quadrille-set now alive.

"One must have seen them, ere one could

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Imagine properly JUDGE WOOD, "Performing, in his wig, so gaily,

"A queue-de-chat with JUSTICE BAILEY! "French Judges, though, are, by no means, "This sort of stiff, be-wigg'd machines; "And we, who've seen them at Saumur, "And Poitiers lately, may be sure "They'd dance quadrilles, or any thing, "That would be pleasing to the King—

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Nay, stand upon their heads, and more do, "To please the little Duke de Bordeaux!"

After these several schemes there came
Some others-needless now to name,
Since that, which Monsieur plann'd, himself,
Soon doom'd all others to the shelf,
And was receiv'd par acclamation,
As truly worthy the Grande Nation.

It seems (as Monsieur told the story)
That Louis the Fourteenth, that glory,