gain, laying down the whole at his feet: and the fovereign will of God, tempered with good-will to his people, was my ftay. But being to preach at Dunfe on the Lord's day, and having fought a text for that end once and again, but in vain, I was hereby led unto one, viz. Col. iii. 2. "Set "your affections on things above, not on things on the "earth" and I gained fome advantage in my own cafe, by the study thereof. That Sabbath, having the first occafion of my adminiftering the facrament of baptifm, I had endeavoured to frame fome difcourfe for it aforehand, but altogether unfuccefsfully: howbeit, when the time came, I was fufficiently furnished for that part of my work, though I could not before fo much as order the duty of the parent in my own mind, to my own fatisfaction. Thereafter, coming home to my chamber, I spent fome time in meditation, and much in prayer, which at that time I could not well leave off, which was far from my ordinary. I laid out my cafe to the Lord, and he turned not away his ear. But that night it was a concerning question to me, How it came to pass, that I could not get above the world, notwithstanding all my endeavours, by meditating, praying, and preaching for that effect, being earnest to have my preaching effectual on my own heart? I thought with myfelf, how, in the time of fuch holy exercifes, i was fomewhat hoifed up above it; but afterward, when the trial comes on, I am again just where I was. And I feared it was too much by myfelf that I wrestled against the world; that I was too legal in my endeavours, and knew not the way of making ufe of Chrift for that great purpose: but I found I was content to learn.

Toward the end of that week, I had a fecret check for forgetting my charge, and was defirous to be with them fixedly, praying the Lord would find out means for that end. I found alfo my heart much quieted, as to the divine difpofal of the affair of my marriage; fettling it in my mind not to proceed before a proper time. And with refpect to my work in my charge, I was determined to be◄ gin with preaching to them the doctrine of man's natural ftate; judging the fight and fenfe thereof to be the foundation of all real religion. And minding to take it in parcels, for the more clear difcovery thereof, both in the finfulness and mifery of it, I begun my ftudy of it, for that Sabbath, on the guilt of Adam's first fin, or original fin

imputed.

imputed. On the Saturday, the precentor profeffing his forrow for his offence, was readmitted feffionally. On the Sabbath, being Oct. 8. entering accordingly on the fubject aforesaid, I found things palpably laid to my hand; and together with the exercife on another question of the catechism, I required of fome an account of what they had heard, in which I had but little fatisfaction.

On the morrow, having vifited the fick, and defired fome to meet in my chamber on Tuesday's night for prayer and Chriftian conference, I went to Kerfefield, the houfe of the Lady Morifton, within a mile of Simprin, whither at that time I fometimes reforted. There my foul was made to blefs God; for that when I reflected on the frame and difpofition of my foul as to my marriage, I found myself freed of many things which before disturbed me, and my mind refting in the Lord. This was the doing of the Lord, and an anfwer of prayer. On Tuefday's night, returning to Simprin, the meeting aforefaid was held accordingly in which, after finging of a pfalm, I fhewed them from the word the warrantableness of fuch exercife, and withal the seasonableness of it for the time; prayed with them; and then two of them prayed. And the Lord giving fome meafure of his countenance, I was encouraged. The day following I went home.

08. 13. I was much difficulted as to the getting of a text. I prayed, and thought again and again, but could get none, and fo on a long time. In the mean time I was much difcouraged, faw and confeffed my diftance from God, the cause of it, and pleaded on the tenor of my commiffion. At laft, thinking on my own unworthiness, I was made to fay within myself, " It is of the Lord's mercy "I am not confumed." This was the text I was thus led to, and determined after prayer to take. But fo few things prefented themfelves to me, that I feared I would not get two fermons on it. Thus being the fame way difficulted Sept. 29. the Lord in his providence fent me a piece of trouble, which led me to a text. An eminent parallel to this I had, when I was led to that text, Pfal. cxxvi. 5. On the morrow I received a letter, and by it expected trouble on trouble. I opened it not till after prayer. Opening it, I was freed from that fear; and going on in my feared ftudies, things were laid to my hand; and my heart bleffeth the Lord, who takes fuch care of And confidering how thefe things put me to prayer,

me.

I

I faw them fweet mercies that come as thefe did, as anfwers of prayer; and it is much my advantage that the Lord deals thus with me. Thereafter I did fome business, and found that another business was fruftrated; but I was ashamed to distrust God. On the 15th, being the Lord's day, I preached at Edrom on Lam. iii. 22. "It is of the "Lord's mercies that we are not confumed;" unto which alfo I was led by my own cafe, as is above noticed; and I had much of the Lord's affiftance therein all the day, and in my prayers more than ordinary.

I went to the fynod on the Tuesday. Returning to Simprin on the Thurfday, I vifited the fchool on the mor row, and went to Dunfe. And having spoke with Langton on the affair of the ftipend, I found no great encou ragement; but thefe things moved me not, being under apprehenfions of public troubles, which were then very likely to enfue; there being a general ferment then in the fpirits of men through the nation, by means of the difafter of Caledonia. At night, upon occafion of difcourfe concerning the accefs allowed fome unto God in duty, I found myself much excited to feek him. On the morrow, before I went off to Simprin, being fomewhat moved with the fhortness of the time I had to ftudy my fermons, I got confidence in God for that effect, by reflecting on former experiences; and in the mean time was quieted in another cafe which I had been in fear of. Coming to Simprin about two o'clock, I got my ftudies difpatched accordingly; and on the Sabbath was much helped in the lecture and afternoon-fermon. I had ordered the visiting of the town that day in the time of the public worship, and found afterwards there was fome need for it. The evening-exercife was in all refpects as before.

Having come on the Friday to Kerfefield, on the morrow I ftudied for the Sabbath, having the help of former notes on the fubject. But I then obferved, that i had fre quently found I had expeded my ftudies, in as fhort time, when I wanted, as when I had help of that kind; and that when I wanted, my ftudies were more fweet, and I faw beft into my fubject. And that obfervation hath, in my experience, held to this day. At night, being returned to Simprin, towards the time of going to bed, I heard an unfavoury noife of men drinking in a neighbouring houfe, on the occafion of a wedding in view. After waiting a while, and finding they were not difmiffed, I

went

went out; and meeting with the mafter of the family, fhewed him the evil of that unfeafonable practice. Coming in again, I poured out my foul to God; and their cafe confidered with my own was heavy: my heart was humbled within me, feeing them an unworthy people, and myself an unworthy minifter, making an unworthy couple in my eyes. As I went to bed, I had a motion to pafs my ordinary I had ftudied, and to preach on James iv. 7. "Refift the devil, and he will flee from you," being to go abroad from them for a time. And having, on the Sabbath morning, confulted God once and again as to that motion, I was reasonably determined to embrace it. So I reviewed my former notes on that text; and having no time to study new fermons, had no fcruple to preach them over again. The which alfo I did; but with lefs affistance in the forenoon's exercise than the afternoon, excepting in the preface. The custom of prefacing in the entry of the forenoon's work, I did then ufe; and I reckoned had used from the time I was licenfed, if it was not the first day or fo 1 preached; and have retained it all along to this time. Only in planted congregations, where the minifter of the place ufed it not, I think I forbore it. I noted that day, that I ftill thought, I rarely, if ever, had fuch freedom of fpirit and affiftance in preaching, in that country, as I had had in the bounds of the prefbytery of Stirling: but, by the mercy of God, that obfervation did not long hold. In the evening-exercife I went on as before, but got a more fatisfying account of the fermons.

On the 30th I fet out for Barhill; but was in hazard of my life in Muffelburgh water, having ignorantly adventu red to ride it when the fea was in. The horfe, I think, was quite off his feet, and fwam. And there being a piece of a brae on the far fide, he leaped up, and I held. In the mean time, with ferenity of mind, I lifted up my foul to the Lord, not knowing but it might coft my life. On the morrow, coming to the ferry, the fea was very rough; but having fecretly poured out my foul to the Lord, my heart was calmed, and I took boat, and was fafe. I have formerly taken notice, above, p. 19. of another hazard I was in. I was in Clackmannanshire the two firft Sabbaths of November. I had determined in my own mind to preach at Clackmannan the first of these two; but on the Saturday morning early, Mr Mair entreated me by a line, to preach at Culrofs, in regard he

was

1

was obliged to go to Edinburgh on a certain emergency; which in thefe circumftances, though contrary to my inclination, I could not refufe. After dinner I went down to the manfe, fuppofing him to have taken his journey; but he had put it off. Wherefore I endeavoured to make away for Clackmannan; but he would by no means allow me to go, urging the determination of Providence for my ftay, by the violence of the weather through wind and rain in the time; withal hinting, that he and others defired my preaching there, on a defign to endeavour a call for me to be his colleague, if they could effectuate it. I declared myself, as I always thought, unfit for fuch a post; but it was not likely that he would get a colleague of his own chufing, who fome years after left the place himself, and died minifter of Tulliallan. When thus detained contrary to my inclination, I retired to my chamber, and fpent fome time in prayer, and meditation on my fermon; but was feized with a fevere fainting-fit, and had almost fainted away, but that I was eafed by vomiting, as usual. On the morrow, Nov. 5. he preached in the forenoon, and I was helped to hear, but fomewhat indifpofed; which indifpofition it pleafed the Lord timely to remove.

How

beit, my legs trembled underneath me as I went into the pulpit in the afternoon; but when I went to prayer, the trembling went off, and I had much freedom of fpirit in preaching the word. Most of the remaining time that night I spent alone, and with Mr Mair, of whofe converfation I ever reaped advantage.

On the Monday, fome time was fpent in his family in prayer, with fafting; of which I had no notice, till about nine or ten o'clock, when I was thinking of returning to Barhill. Being defired, I ftaid, and joined with him in that exercife. The family being gathered together, he began the work, fhewing the caufes of it; which were, 1. The afflicting hand of God on his family, particularly on a child of his at Edinburgh; 2. To prepare for a congregational faft at Carnock; 3. To pray God in behalf of his parish. Then I prayed: after which, he, having fpoke a little again, prayed alfo. These prayers continued long; but we had ended about half an hour after twelve o'clock. After which, retiring to our feveral apartments, we dined about two, having had no breakfast. This was the firft example of a family-faft I had ever feen, neither do I remember to have been witness to another without