FABLE II.

THE LOOKING-GLASSES.

PROEM.

WHERE Kings have been by mob-elections
Rais'd to the throne, 'tis strange to see
What different and what odd perfections
Men have requir'd in Royalty.

Some, liking monarchs large and plumpy,

Have chos'n their Sovereigns by the weight;Some wish'd them tall, some thought your dumpy, Dutch-built, the true Legitimate.*

The Easterns in a Prince, 'tis said,
Prefer what's call'd a jolter-head † :
Th' Egyptians wer'n't at all partic'lar,

So that their Kings had not red hair-
This fault not ev'n the greatest stickler
For the blood-royal well could bear.

*The Goths had a law to choose always a short, thick man for their King. -MUNSTER, Cosmog. lib. iii. p. 164.

"In a Prince a jolter-head is invaluable."

Oriental Field Sports.

A thousand more such illustrations
Might be adduc'd from various nations.
But, 'mong the many tales they tell us,

Touching th' acquir'd or natural right

Which some men have to rule their fellows, There's one, which I shall here recite:

FABLE.

There was a land—to name the place
Is neither now my wish nor duty-
Where reign'd a certain Royal race,
By right of their superior beauty.

What was the cut legitimate

Of these great persons' chins and noses, By right of which they rul'd the state, No history I have seen discloses.

But so it was-a settled case

Some Act of Parliament, pass'd snugly,

Had voted them a beauteous race,

And all their faithful subjects ugly.

As rank, indeed, stood high or low,
Some change it made in visual organs;
Your Peers were decent-Knights, so so—
But all your common people, gorgons!

Of course, if any

knave but hinted

That the King's nose was turn'd awry, Or that the Queen (God bless her!) squintedThe judges doom'd that knave to die.

But rarely things like this occurr'd,

The people to their King were duteous,

And took it, on his Royal word,

That they were frights, and He was beauteous.

The cause whereof, among all classes,
Was simply this-these island elves

Had never yet seen looking-glasses,

And, therefore, did not know themselves.

Sometimes, indeed, their neighbours' faces

Might strike them as more full of reason, More fresh than those in certain places

But, Lord, the very thought was treason!

Besides, howe'er we love our neighbour,

And take his face's part, 'tis known
We ne'er so much in earnest labour,
As when the face attack'd's our own.

So, on they went-the crowd believing(As crowds well govern'd always do) Their rulers, too, themselves deceivingSo old the joke, they thought 'twas true.

But jokes, we know, if they too far go,
Must have an end—and so, one day,
Upon that coast there was a cargo
Of looking-glasses cast away.

'Twas said, some Radicals, somewhere, Had laid their wicked heads together, And forc'd that ship to founder there,— While some believe it was the weather.

However this might be, the freight
Was landed without fees or duties;

And from that hour historians date

The downfal of the Race of Beauties.

The looking-glasses got about,

And grew so common through the land, That scarce a tinker could walk out,

Without a mirror in his hand.

Comparing faces, morning, noon,
And night, their constant occupation—

By dint of looking-glasses, soon,

They grew a most reflecting nation.

In vain the Court, aware of errors

In all the old, establish'd mazards,

Prohibited the use of mirrors,

And tried to break them at all hazards :

In vain their laws might just as well
Have been waste paper on the shelves;

That fatal freight had broke the spell;
People had look'd- and knew themselves.

If chance a Duke, of birth sublime,
Presum'd upon his ancient face,
(Some calf-head, ugly from all time,)
They popp'd a mirror to his Grace :-