Simp. Marry, fir, I come to fpeak with fir John Falftaff, from mafter Slender. Hoft. There's his chamber, his houfe, his caftle, his. ftanding-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll speak like, an Anthropophaginian unto thee: Knock, I fay. Simp. There's an old woman, a fat woman gone up into his chamber; I'll be fo bold as stay, fir, till fhe come down: I come to speak with her, indeed. Hoft. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed ; I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully fir John! fpeak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine hoft, thine Ephefian, calls. Fal. [above.] How now, mine host? Hoft. Here's a Bohemian Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her defcend; : my chambers are honourable: Fie! privacy? fie! Enter FALSTAFF, Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone. Simp. Pray you, fir, was't not the wife woman of Brentford? Fal. Ay, marry was it, mufcle-fhell; what would you with her? Simp. My mafter, fir, my mafter Slender, fent to her, feeing her go thorough the streets, to know, fir, whether, one Nym, fir, that beguil'd him of a chain, had the chain, or no? Fal. I fpake with the old woman about it, Fal. Marry, the fays, that the very fame man, that be guiled master Slender of his chain, cozen'd him.of it. Sim Simp. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herfelf; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him. Fal. What are they? let us know. Simp. I may not conceal them, fir. Fal. Conceal them, or thou diest. Simp. Why, fir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my mafter's fortune to have her, or no. Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune. Simp. What, fir? Fal. To have her, or no: Go; fay, the woman told me fo. Simp. May I be fo bold to fay fo, fir? Fal. Ay, fir Tike; who more bold? Simp. I thank your worship: I fhall make my master glad with thefe tidings. [Exit SIMPLE. Hoft. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, fir John: Was there a wife woman with thee? Fal. Ay, that there was, mine hoft; one, that hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning. Enter BARDOLPH. Bard. Out, alas, fir! cozenage! meer cozenage! Hoft. Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto. Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a flough of mire; and fet fpurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Fauftufes. Hoft. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest men. 2 Enter Enter Sir HUGH EVANS. Eva. Where is mine hoft? Hoft. What is the matter, fir? Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there is three coufin germans, that has cozen'd all the hosts of Reading, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good-will, look you: you are wife, and full of gibes and vlouting-fogs; and 'tis not convenient you fhould be cozen'd: Fare you well. Enter CAIUS. Caius. Vere is mine Hoft de Farterre? [Exit. Hoft. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma. Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat: But it is tell-a me, dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Jarmany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat the court is know to come: I tell you for good vill: adieu. [Exit. Hoft. Hue and cry, villain, go:-affift me, knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone ! [Exeunt HOST and BARDOLPH. Fal. I would, all the world might be cozen'd; for I have been cozen'd, and beaten too. If it fhould come to the ear of the court, how I have been transform'd, and how my transformation hath been wash'd and cudgel'd, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as creft fallen as a dried pear. I never profper'd, fince I forefwore myself at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to fay my prayers, I would repent. Enter Enter Mrs. QUICKLY. Now! whence come you? Quick. From the two parties, forfooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and fo they fhall be both beftow'd! I have fuffer'd more for their fakes, more than the villainous inconftancy of man's disposition is able to bear. Quick. And have not they fuffer'd? Yes, I warrant; fpecioufly one of them; miftrefs Ford, good heart, is 'beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her. Fal. What tell'ft thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had fet me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch. Quick. Sir, let me fpeak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will fay fomewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not ferve heaven well, that you are fo crofs'd. Enter FENTON and HOST. Hoft. Mafter Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, will give over all. Fent. Fent. Yet hear me fpeak: Affift me in my purpose, And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee A hundred pound in gold more than your lofs. Hoft. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I will, at the leaft, keep your counsel. Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you Without the show of both;-wherein fat Falstaff [Showing the letter, The purpose why, is here; in which disguise, Her mother, even strong against that match, And |