BOOKE THE FIRST turnies, shewes, and such like exercises, which appertaine more to good horsemanship and warlike discipline, then cardes and dice doe. And therefore I am perswaded they have nothing else to say, for defence of this their custome, but that which Diogenes said, who beeing asked why hee eate openly in the streete, answered because hee was a hungred in the streete: so they play there, because being there, there commeth upon them a desire to play. ANNIB. There is no helpe in it, but you must settle your selfe to like of such men with their imperfections, and to thinke that every Nation, land, and Countrie, by the nature of the place, the climate of the heaven, and the influence of the starres hath certaine vertues, and certaine vices, which are proper, naturall, and perpetuall unto it. And as good and sharpe wittes flourishe where the ayre is pure and subtill, so there are founde dull and grosse heads where the ayre is foggie and thicke. And touching conditions you knowe that the Greekes though singular in learning and eloquence, yet are they disloyal and faythles, and therefore it is proverbially saide, The Greekish fayth. Moreover, there are other people who by naturall vertue are given to the industrie and discipline of warre, and by natural vice are driven to haughtinesse and drunkennesse, some are able easily to sustaine and stoutly to beare out paine, watching and travaile, who on the other side are vainglorious and braggers. To some, stout hardinesse, and devout holinesse, have been alwayes proper and natural, who neverthelesse are worldlings and unconstant. I am sure also you make no doubt of it, but that we Italians have likewise some vices and vertues natural, and that wee doe no lesse exceede in the one, then excell in the other. But if it seeme no marvaile unto you to see these divers fashions and customes, according to the diversitie* and great distance of Countries, doe but consider howe much wee differ onely within the circuite of Italy, in the Romane, Tuscane, Lombardie, and other partes of it: then behold one of those partes apart, and cast your imagination on the centre or point of Montferrat, and you shall finde, howe BOOKE onely the river Po and Tanar make Countries to differ in THE FIRST language, apparell, life, and manners, which are no further distant one from another, then from one side or banke of the river to the other. Whereuppon you will graunt me, that all Countries have their naturall faults together with their vertues wherby you may bee assured, that if other people have not used to play at cardes and dice openly, yet perchaunce they have brought in use both publikely and privately vices farre more pernicious then this. Now to lose no more time about this point, I say unto you, that it is not inconvenient, but necessary, to folow the diversitie of manners and customes, according to the diversitie of the Countries, and to imitate Alcibiades, to whom it was counted a praise, that hee had so readie a wit to frame himselfe to the diversitie of the life and manners of other Countries,* and according to the saying, When one is at Rome, to live as they doe at Rome. GUAZ. I shoulde thinke good that wee shoulde nowe come to the generall points perteining to the conversation of the tollerable. ANNIB. It is better in my mind to dispatch other things which now come in my head touching the intollerable. And though this matter be so ample, that a man cannot sufficiently speake of it, yet wee ought not with scilence to passe over the vice of the slaunderous, who with the falsenesse of their tongues, seeke to blemishe the brightnesse of others names. GUAZ. That fault is at this day common throughout the worlde, and therefore wee must spite of our teeth beare with ill tongues, which swarme in greater number then Bees doe in July: neither is it possible for a man to escape their stinging, do the best hee can. For now adaies men take such pleasure in this vice, that many which are free almost from all other faults, yet are they not able to bridle their blasphemous tongues. ANNIB. * I have by long experience noted, that commonly the idle, the ignorant, the unfortunate, and bankerupts, which have no good successe in their own affaires, are they THE FIRST which seeke to deprave the doinges of other men, and give BOOKE themselves to speake evill, for that they know not how to doe any thing well.* But though this fault be common to many, and grateful to the world, yet for al that it is hatefull to the worlde: and whosoever shall looke througly into it, will graunt mee that the fault of him which speaketh yll of his neighbour, to the intent to bring him into hatred, is greater then of him who pulleth the bread out of the mouth of the poore. For as the soule is more precious then the body, so is it a greater offence to take away ones good name, which refresheth the soule, then to defraud one of food, which sustaineth the body. GUAZ. It seemeth to mee that in these wordes is implied some contrarietie, where you say, that to speake yll of others, is both gratefull to the worlde, and hatefull to the worlde. ANNIB. No truely, for our nature draweth us to desire to understand the imperfections of other, and wee count it the greatest pleasure that may bee and as we like well to heare others yll spoken of, so wee cannot abide to bee ill spoken of our selves, whether it be rightfully or wrongfully. GUAZ. I count it nothing strange, that wee like not to bee founde fault withall our selves: but what thinke you is the cause that wee are so glad to heare others yll spoken of? ANNIB. I thinke that commeth to passe by meanes of two mightie enimies, which wee keepe in our owne house, that is, Envie, and Ambition, which in our selves, conspiring against our selves, force us to bee greeved that others shoulde bee counted good, and make us desire that only wee our selves may seeme good. But I will tell you a thing which will make you marvell in deede, and which you will thinke against all reason. GUAZ. What is that I pray you? ANNIB. Mary that there are two principall sortes of these evill tongued the one yll, which you ought to flie: the other farre worse, whose companie you ought not to avoide. I meane by Ill, those who without feare, without shame, without any respect or difference, whet their tongues THE FIRST to rent a sunder, and impaire in all their talke both publike BOOKE and private, the good name of others, sparing none, either present or absent. But these same, while they recount other mens faultes, doe many times more offende the mindes of the hearers, then those who doe commit them. And though they have a marke on their forehead, and are knowne for infamous persons, yet for so much as they utter their venome openly and flatly, they ought, in respect of the worser sort, rather to bee pitied then blamed for that they shew plainely, that their evill speaking is derived from their owne corrupt nature, not from the parties of whom they speake yll: By reason whereof, their wordes are not much credited, and in my opinion they doe nothing els but raise a dust to doe out their owne eyes: for in accusing others, they condemne themselves, and where they woulde have men thinke them to bee Catoes, they shewe them selves Momes, Beastes, and not to bee borne withall. But what shall wee say of those Curre dogges, which without barking bite us privily: who must bee admitted into conversation, notwithstanding they are farre worse then the other. GUAZ. Which do you take them to bee? ANNIB. Those are of divers sortes, who neverthelesse shoote all at one marke. Some of them I call Maskers, some Rethoricians, some Poets, some Hypocrites, some Scorpions, some Traitours, some Forgers, some Biters, some Mockers, and some unknowne. GUAZ. You make mee laugh with your pleasant and strange distinctions: but whom call you maskers ? ANNIB. There are certaine glorious fellowes, who at shrovetide goe with maskes on their face, and yet woulde faine be knowne what they are: so likewise certaine naughty tongued fellowes under the maske of modestie, say they will not name him whom they reprehende, and yet they set him out so evidently, that all the hearers knowe whom hee meaneth. By the example of the Countrieman, who telling the hunter that the Foxe was not gone that THE FIRST way, pointed notwithstanding to the place where hee was BOOKE hidden. Some of these maskers use also speaches with a certaine outwarde shewe of commendation, which neverthelesse are full of reproche and mockerie. And to say what is of it, they are those who according to the Proverb, Have Hony in their mouth, and a knife in their hand. GUAZ. Now who are the Rethoricians? ANNIB. They are those who with a certaine figure, called by the Maisters of Eloquence Occupatio, make as though they would not speake evill, and yet doe it, and worse too. And touching this point, no longer agoe then yesterday I chaunced to bee in companie, where one amongest the rest complaining of another that had injuryed him in words, saith, I will not rehearse the lewde part hee plaied with a poore maide (whom hee named) neither the stripes hee caused to bee given one night to another, neither the contractes of usurie, which hee hath made with certaine poore men of such a place, which I perfectly knowe, but I will speake nothing heereof, least men count me to be as ill tongued as hee. Next after these, come the blasphemous Poets, who using the figure Antiphrasis, and speaking by contraries, will give in mockage, the name of faire to a woman that is foule, and of honest, to one that is an harlot, and will commend the eyes of one which looketh a squint. Let us nowe come to ill tongued Hypocrites, who under the colour of griefe and compassion, to be the better beleeved, lamentably rehearse the ill haps of other which vice, though it bee common to manie, yet it is most familiar with certaine women, who meeting with other of their Gossips, after the first greetings, they foorthwith breake into these speeches, Have you not hearde the hard hap of my unfortunate neighbour and thereupon making the storie, they rehearse howe the husbande by meanes of his servant, tooke her tardie in her hastie businesse. Then they tell the wall, and the way whereby her lover got downe: next, how cruelly her husbande beate her, and her maid, and thinke not that they leave any thing behind untolde, but rather will put too : |