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To shallow rivers, to whose falls,
one way or other make you amends. I will knog your Melodious birds sing madrigals ;
urinals about your knave's cogscomb for missing your There will we make our peds of roses,
meetings and appointments. And a thousand fragrant posies.
Caius. Diable ! -Jack Rugby,—mine Host de JarreTo shallow
tière, have I not stay for him, to kill him ? have I not, Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry. [Sings. at de place I did appoint ? Melodious birds sing madrigals ;- —
Eva. As I am a Christian soul, now, look you, this When as I sat in Pabylon,,
is the place appointed. I'll be judgment by mine Host And a thousand vagram posies.
of the Garter. To shallow
Host. Peace, I say! Gallia and Guallia, French and Sim. [Coming forward.] Yonder he is coming, this Welsh; soul-curer and body-curer. way, sir Hugh.
Caius. Ay, dat is very good : excellent. Eva. He's welcome.
Host. Peace, I say I hear mine Host of the Garter. To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Am I politic? am I subtle ? am I a Machiavel ? Shall Heaven prosper the right ! -What weapons is he? I lose my doctor ? no; he gives me the potions, and
Sim. No weapons, sir. There comes my master, the motions. Shall I lose my parson? my priest ? my master Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frog- sir Hugh ? no; he gives me the proverbs and the nomore, over the stile, this way.
verbs.--Give me thy hands, celestial and terrestrial ;5 Eva. Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it so.—Boys of, art, I have deceived you both; I have in your arms.
ected you to wrong places : your hearts are mighty, Enter PAGĖ, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. Shal. How now, master parson! Good-morrow, good —Come, lay their swords to pawn. Follow me, lad of sir Hugh. Keep á gamester from the dice, and a good peace; follow, follow, follow. student from his book, and it is wonderful.
Shal. Trust me, a mad host.–Follow, gentlemen, Slen. Ah, sweet Anne Page!
follow. Page. Save you, good sir Hugh.
Slen. O, sweet Anne Page! Eva. Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you !
[Exeunt SHALLOW, SLENDER, Page, and Host. Shal. What! the sword and the word ? do you study | Caius. Ha! do I perceive dat! have you make-a de them both, master parson?
sot of us? ha, ha! Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, Eva. This is well, he has made us his vlouting-stog. this raw rheumatic day?
I desire you, that we may be friends, and let us knog Eva. There is reasons and causes for it.
our prains together to be revenge on this same scallo, Page. We are come to you to do a good office, master scurvy, cogging companion, the Host of the Garter. parson.
Caius. By gar, vit all my heart. He promise to bring Eva. Fery well: what is it?
me vere is Anne Page : by gar, he deceive me too. Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, Eva. Well, I will smite his noddles.-Pray you, belike having received wrong by some person, is at follow.
[Eceunt. most odds with his own gravity and patience that ever
SCENE II.-A Street in Windsor. Shal. I have lived fourscore years, and upward, I
Enter Mistress PAGE and ROBIN. never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, Mrs. Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant: you so wide of his own respect.
were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Eva. What is he?
Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your Page. I think you know him; master doctor Caius, master's heels? the renowned French physician.
Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a Eva. Got's will, and his passion of my heart! I had man, than follow him like a dwarf. as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
Mrs. Page. O! you are a flattering boy: now, I see, Page. Why?
you ’ll be a courtier. Eva. He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates and
Enter FORD. Galen,—and. he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave, Ford. Well met, mistress Page. Whither go you ? as you would desires to be acquainted withal.
Mrs. Page. Truly, sir, to see your wife : is she at Page. I warrant you, he's the man should fight with home? him.
Ford. Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, Slen. O, sweet Anne Page !
for want of your company. I think, if your husbands Shal. It appears so, by his weapons.-Keep them were dead, you two would marry. asunder:-here comes doctor Caius.
Mrs. Page. Be sure of that,--two other husbands. Enter Host, Caius, and RUGBY.
Ford. Where had you this pretty weather-cock ? Page. Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon. Mrs. Page. I cannot tell what the dickens his name Shal. So do you, good master doctor.
is my husband had him of. What do you call your Host. Disarm them, and let them question : let them knight's name, sirrah ? keep their limbs whole, and hack our English.
Rob. Sir John Falstaff. Caius. I pray you, let-a me speak a word vit your Ford. Sir John Falstaff ! ear: verefore vill you not meet-a me?
Mrs. Page. He, he; I can never hit on's name-Eva. Pray you, use your patience: in good time. There is such a league between my good man and him !
Caius. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John Is your wife at home indeed ? ape.
Ford. Indeed, she is. Eva. Pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to other Mrs. Page. By your leave, sir: I am sick, till I see men's humours; I desire you in friendship, and I will sher.
(Exeunt Mrs. PAGE and ROBIN.
2 Not in f. e. 1 A quotation from Marlow's "Passionate Pilgrim."
3 A line from the old version of Ps. 137. 4 Not in f. e.
5 The folios have : hands celestial, so. Malone altered it to “Give me thy hand terrestrial, so; give me thy hand celestial, so." 6 Scald-head. 6 An eyas, is a young hawk, a musket from the Italian muschetto, a little hawk. 7 A jack, or puppet thrown at as a mark, in Lent. 8 A line from Sidney's Astrophel and Stella. 9 if fortune were not thy foe.
Ford. Hath Page any brains! hath he any eyes ? hath Mrs. Page. Quickly, quickly. Is the buck-basket he any thinking ? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of Mrs. Ford. I warrant.--What, Robin, I say ! them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty miles,
Enter Servants with a large Basket. as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score. Mrs. Page. Come, come, come. He pieces-out his wife's inclination; he gives her folly Mrs. Ford. Here, set it down. motion, and advantage : and now she's going to my Mrs. Page. Give your men the charge : we must be wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A man may hear brief. this shower sing in the wind :—and Falstaff's boy with Mrs. Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John, and her !-Good plots !--they are laid; and our revolted Robert, be ready here hard by in the brew-house; and wives share damnation together. Well; I will take when I suddenly, call you, come forth, and (without any him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of pause, or staggering) take this basket on your shoulders: modesty from the so-seeming mistress Page, divulge that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry it Page himself for a secure and wilful Actæon; and to among the whitstersó in Datchet mead, and there empty these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry it in the muddy ditch close by the Thames side. aimé. [Clock strikes ten.?] The clock gives me my cue,
Mrs. Page. You will do it? and my assurance bids me search; there I shall find
Mrs. Ford. I have told them over and over; they Falstaff. I shall be rather praised for this, than lack no direction. Be gone, and come when you are mocked; for it is as positive as the earth is firm, that called.
[Excunt Servants. Falstaff is there: I will go. .
Mrs. Page. Here comes little Robin.
Mrs. Ford. How now, my eyas-musketö ? what news Page, Shal. &c. Well met, master Ford.
with you? Ford. Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at Rob. My master, sir John, is come in at your backhome, and I pray you all go with me.
door, mistress Ford, and requests your company. Shal. I must excuse myself, master Ford.
Mrs. Page. You little Jack-a-lent”, have you been Slen. And so must I, sir: we have appointed to dine true to us ? with mistress Anne, and I would not break with her Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn: my master knows not of for more money than I'll speak of.
your being here; and hath threatened to put me into Shal. We have lingered about a match between everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it, for he swears he'll Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we turn me away. shall have our answer.
Mrs. Page. Thou ’rt a good boy; this secrecy of Slen. I hope, I have your good will, father Page. thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a
Page. You have, master Slender; I stand wholly for new doublet and hose.—I'll go hide me. you :-but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether. Mrs. Ford. Do so.—Go tell thy master, I am alone.
Caius. Ay, by gar; and de maid is love-a me: my Mistress Page, remember you your cue. [Exit ROBIN. nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.
Mrs. Page. I warrant thee : if I do not act it, hiss Host. What say you to young master Fenton ? he me.
[Exit Mrs. PAGE. capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes Mrs. Ford. Go to, then: we'll use this unwholesome verses, he speaks holyday, he smells April and May: humidity, this gross watery pumpion ;--we'll teach he will carry’t, he will carry 't; 't is in his buttons ; him to know turtles from jays. he will carry't.
Enter FALSTAFF. Page. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gen- Fal. Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel p8 Why, tleman is of no havingt: he kept company with the wild now let me die, for I have lived long enough: this is Prince and Poins; he is of too high a region ; he knows the period of my ambition. O this blessed hour! too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes Mrs. Ford. O, sweet sir John ! with the finger of my substance: if he take her, let him Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, take her simply: the wealth I have waits on my con- mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would sent, and my consent goes not that way.
thy husband were dead, I'll speak it before the best Ford. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home lord, I would make thee my lady. with me to dinner : besides your cheer, you shall have Mrs. Ford. I your lady, sir John ? alas, I should be sport; I will show you a monster.—Master doctor, you a pitiful lady. shall go :-so shall you, master Page ;-—and you, sir
Fal. Let the court of France show me such another. Hugh.
I see how thine eye would emulate the diamond : thou Shal. Well, fare you well.—We shall have the freer hast the right arched beauty of the brow, that becomes wooing at master Page's.
the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian Exeunt SHALLOW and SLENDER. admittance. Caius. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon.
Mrs. Ford. A plain kerchief, sir John : my brows
[Exit Rugby. become nothing else; nor that well neither. Host. Farewell, my hearts. I will to my honest Fal. By the Lord, thou art a tyrant to say so : thou knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him. [Èxit Host. wouldst make an absolute courtier; and the firm fixture
Ford. [Asidé.] I think, I shall drink in pipe-wine of thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait first with him; I'll make him dance. Will you go, in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, gentles?
if fortune thy foe were not, nature thy friend: come, All. Have with you, to see this monster. [Exeunt. thou canst not hide it.
Mrs. Ford. Believe me, there's no such thing in me. SCENE III.A Room in Ford's House,
Fal. What made me love thee ? let that persuade Enter Mrs. Ford and Mrs. PAGE.
thee, there's something extraordinary in thee. Come; Mrs. Ford. What, John! what, Robert !
I cannot cog, and say thou art this and that, like a 1 Applaud--a term in archery.
2 Not in f. e.
3 where : in f. e.
many of these lisping haw-thorn buds, that come like Mrs. Page. What! sir John Falstaff? Are these women in men's apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury your letters, knight ? in simple?-time: I cannot; but I love thee, none but Fal. I love thee: help me away; let me creep in thee, and thou deservest it.
here; I'll neverMrs. Ford. Do not betray me, sir. I fear, you love
[He gets into the basket, and falls over :: mistress Page.
they cover him with foui linen. Fal. Thou might'st as well say, I love to walk by Mrs. Page. Help to cover your master, boy.
Call the Counter-gate, which is as hateful to me as the reek your men, mistress Ford.--You dissembling knight! of a lime-kiln.
Mrs. Ford. What, John ! Robert! John! [Exit Mrs. Ford. Well, heaven knows how I love you; ROBIN. Re-enter Servants.] Go, take up these clothes and you shall one day find it.
here, quickly; where's the cowl-staff?s look, how you Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it.
drumblet: carry them to the laundress in Datchet Mrs. Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do, or else mead ; quickly, come. I could not be in that mind.
Enter Ford, PAGE, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans. Rob. [Within.] Mistress Ford ! mistress Ford ! here's Ford. Pray you, come near: if I suspect without mistress Page at the door, sweating, and blowing, and cause, why then make sport at me, then let me be your looking wildly, and would needs speak with you pre- jest; I deserve it.—How now! whither bear you this? sently.
Serv. To the laundress, forsooth. Fal. She shall not see me. I will ensconce me be- Mrs. Ford. Why, what have you to do whither they hind the arras.
bear it? you were best meddle with buck-washing. . Mrs. Ford. Pray you, do so: she's a very tattling Ford. Buck! I would I could wash myself of the
[FALSTAFF hides himself. buck! Buck, buck, buck? Ay, buck; I warrant you, Enter Mistress PAGE and ROBIN.
buck, and of the season too, it shall appear. [Exeunt What's the matter? how now!
Servants with the basket.] Gentlemen, I have dreamed Mrs. Page. O mistress Ford! what have you done ? to-night: I'll tell you my dream. Here, here, here be You ’re shamed, you are overthrown, you ’re undone my keys: ascend my chambers, search, seek, find out: for ever.
I'll warrant, we'll unkennel the fox.-Let me stop this Mrs. Ford. What 's the matter, good mistress way first :-so, now uncape. Page ?
Page. Good master Ford, be contented: you wrong Mrs. Page. O well-a-day, mistress Ford ! having an yourself too much. honest man to your husband to give him such cause of Ford. True, master Page. -Up, gentlemen; you suspicion !
shall see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen. Exit. Mrs. Ford. What cause of suspicion ?
Eva. This is fery fantastical humours, and jealousies. Mrs. Page. What cause of suspicion ?-Out upon Caius. By gar, 't is no de fashion of France: it is not you! how am I mistook in you !
jealous in France. Mrs. Ford. Why, alas ! what's the matter ?
Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen : see the issue of Mrs. Page. Your husband's coming hither, woman, his search. [Exeunt PAGE, Evans, and Caius. with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentle- Mrs. Page. Is there not a double excellency in this ? man, that, he says, is here now in the house, by your Mrs. Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence. You my husband is deceived, or sir John. are undone.
Mrs. Page. What a taking was he in, when your Mrs. Ford. 'Tis not so, I hope.
husband asked who was in the basket! Mrs. Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have Mrs. Ford. I am half afraid he will have need of such a man here; but’t is most certain your husband's washing; so, throwing him into the water will do him coming, with half Windsor at his heels, to search for a benefit. such a one ; I come before to tell you.
If you know Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal ! I would all yourself clear, why I am glad of it; but if you have a of the same strain were in the same distress. friend here, convey, convey him out. Be not amazed; Mrs. Ford. I think, my husband hath some special call all your senses to you: defend your reputation, or suspicion of Falstaff's being here, for I never saw him bid farewell to your good life for ever.
so gross in his jealousy till now. Mrs. Ford. What shall I do?-There is a gentle- Mrs. Page. I will lay a plot to try that; and we will man, my dear friend ; and I fear not mine own shame, yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disso much as his peril : I had rather than a thousand ease will scarce obey this medicine. pound, he were out of the house.
Mrs. Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, misMrs. Page. For shame! never stand you had tress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the rather," and "
you had rather:" your husband's here water; and give him another hope, to betray him to at hand; bethink you of some conveyance : in the house another punishment ? you cannot hide him.--0, how have you deceived Mrs. Page. We'll do it: let him be sent for to-morme !-Look, here is a basket: if he be of any reason- row eight o'clock, to have amends. able stature, he may creep in here; and throw foul Re-enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and Sir Hugh EVANS. linen upon him, as if it were going to bucking : or, it Ford. I cannot find him: may be, the knave bragged is whiting-time, send him by your two men to Datchet of that he could not compass. mead.
Mrs. Page. Heard you that ?
Ford. Ay, I do so.
Mrs. Ford. Heaven make you better than your
[Ford. I'll in.
Mrs. Page. You do yourself mighty wrong, master
2 Not in f. e.
3 A stick for two to carry a basket with two handles by.
4 Drone, loiter.
Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it.
Anne. I come to him. This is my father's choice. Eva. If there be any pody in the house, and in the O, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, heaven Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year! forgive my sins at the day of judgment.
Quick. And how does good master Fenton ? Pray Caius. By gar, nor I too : dere is no bodies.
you, a word with you. Page. Fie, fie, master Ford ! are you not ashamed ? Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy! thou hadst What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination ? I a father. would not have your distemper in this kind for the Slen. I had a father, mistress Anne: my uncle can wealth of Windsor Castle,
tell you good jests of him.-Pray you, uncle, tell misFord. 'T is my fault, master Page: I suffer for it. tress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out
Eva. You suffer for a pad conscience : your wife is of a pen, good uncle. as honest a 'omans as I will desires among five thou- Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you. sand, and five hundred too.
Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman Caius. By gar, I see 't is an honest woman.
in Gloucestershire. Ford. Well; I promised you a dinner.--Come, come, Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. walk in the park: I pray you, pardon me; I will here- Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under after make known to you, why I have done this.- the degree of a 'squire. Come, wife ;-come, mistress Page: I pray you pardon Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds me; pray heartily, pardon me.
jointure. Page. Let's go in, gentlemen; but trust me, we'll Anne. Good master Shallow, let him woo for mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my himself. house to breakfast; after, we'll a birding together : I Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank
I thank you for have a fine hawk for the bush. Shall it be so? that good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave you. Ford. Any thing.
[Stands back. Eva. If there is one, I shall make two in the company. Anne. Now, master Slender. Caius. If there be one or two, I shall make-a de turd. Slen. Now, good mistress Anne. Ford. Pray you go, master Page.
Anne. What is your will ?' Eva. I pray you now, remembrance to-morrow on Slen. My will ? od's heartlings! that's a pretty jest, the lousy knave, mine Host.
indeed. I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I Caius. Dat is good; by gar, vit all my heart. am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.
Eva. A lousy knave! to have his gibes, and his Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would you with mockeries.
Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or SCENE IV-A Room in PAGE's House.
nothing with you. Your father, and my uncle, have Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE.
made motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy Fent. I see, I cannot get thy father's love
man be his dole. They can tell you how things go, Therefore, no more turn me to him, sweet Nan. better than I can: you may ask your father; here he
Anne. Alas! how then ?
Enter PAGE and Mistress PAGE.
Page. Now, master Slender !---Love him, daughter And that my state being gall’d with my expense,
Anne, I seek to heal it only by his wealth.
Why, how now! what does master Fenton here? Beside these, other bars he lays before me,
You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house: My riots past, my wild societies;
I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of. And tells me, 't is a thing impossible
Fent. Nay, master Page, be not impatient. I should love thee, but as a property.
Mrs. Page. Good master Fenton, come not to my Anne. May be, he tells you true.
child. Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to come! Page. She is no match for you. Albeit, I will confess, thy father's wealth
Fen. Sir, will you hear me? Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne:
No, good master Fenton.Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value Come, master Shallow;-come, son Slender; in.--Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags; Knowing my mind, you wrong me, master Fenton. And 't is the very riches of thyself
[Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. That now I aim at.
Quick. Speak to mistress Page.
Fent. Good mistress Page, for that I love your Yet seek my father's love; still seek it, sir :
daughter If opportunity and humblést suit
In such a righteous fashion as I do, Cannot attain it, why then,-Hark, you hither. Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners,
[They talk apart. I must advance the colours of my love, Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and Mrs. QUICKLY. And not retire: let me have your good will. Shal. Break their talk, mistress Quickly, my kins- Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yond' fool. man shall speak for himself.
Mrs. Page. I mean it not; I seek you a better husSlen. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't. Slid, 't is band. but venturing.
Quick. That's my master, master doctor. Shal. Be not dismay'd.
Anne. Alas! I had rather be set quick i' the earth, Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for And bowl'd to death with turnips. that, but that I am afeard,
Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not yourself. Good Quick. Hark ye; master Slender would speak a word master Fenton,
I will not be your friend, nor enemy:
1 Not in f. e.
My daughter will I question how she loves you, think, what a man is : let her consider his frailty, and And as I find her, so am I affected.
then judge of my merit. 'Till then, farewell, sir: she must needs go in;
Quick. I will tell her. Her father will be angry. (Exeunt Mrs. Page and ANNE.
Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, say’st. thou? Fent. Farewell, gentle mistress.-Farewell, Nan. Quick. Eight and nine, sir.
Quick. This is my doing, now.–Nay, said I, will Fal. Well, be gone : I will not miss her. you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician ? Quick. Peace be with you, sir.
(Exit. look on, master Fenton.-This is my doing.
Fal. I marvel, I hear not of master Brook: he sent Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to-night me word to stay within. I like his money well. 0! Give my sweet Nan this ring. There's for thy pains. here he comes.
Enter FORD. Quick. Now, heaven send thee good fortune! A
Ford. Bless you, sir. kind heart he hath: a woman would run through fire Fal. Now, master Brook; you come to know what and water for such a kind heart. But yet I would my hath passed between me and Ford's wife? master had mistress Anne; or I would master Slender Ford. That, indeed, sir John, is my business. had her, or, in sooth, I would master Fenton had her. Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you. I was at I will do what I can for them all three, for so I have her house the hour she appointed me. promised, and I'll be as good as my word; but spe- Ford. And sped you, sir ? ciously for master Fenton. Well, I must of another Fal. Very ill-favouredly, master Brook. errand to sir John Falstaff from my two mistresses: Ford. How so, sir ? Did she change her determination? what a beast am I to slack it.
Exit Fal. No, master Brook; but the peaking cornuto her
husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual larum SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn.
of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our encounter, Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH.
after we had embraced, kissed, protested, and, as it Fal. Bardolph, I say!
were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his Bard. Here, sir.
heels a rabble of his companions, thither provoked and Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in ’t. instigated by his distemper, and, forsooth, to search his [Exit Bard.] Have I lived to be carried in a basket, house for his wife's love. like a barrow of butcher's offal, and to be thrown in Ford. What! while you were there? the Thames? Well, if I be served such another trick, Fal. While I was there. I'll have my brains ta'en out, and buttered, and give Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find you? them to a dog for a new year's gift. The rogues Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have it, slighted me into the river with as little remorse as comes in one mistress Page; gives intelligence of Ford's they would have drowned a blind bitch's puppies, fif- approach; and by her invention, and Ford's wife's disteen i’ the litter; and you may know by my size, that I traction, they conveyed me into a buck-basket. have a kind of alacrity in sinking: if the bottom were Ford. A buck-basket! as deep as hell, I should down. I had been drowned, Fal. By the Lord, a buck-basket: rammed me in with but that the shore was shelvy and shallow; a death foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, and greasy that I abhor, for the water swells a man, and what a napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rankest thing should I have been, when I had been swelled ! compound of villainous smell, that ever offended nostril. I should have been a mountain of mummy.
Ford. And how long lay you there?
Fal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I have Bard. Here's mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you. suffered, to bring this woman to evil for your good.
Fal. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple of Ford's water; for my belly 's as cold, as if I had swallowed knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their mistress, snow-balls for pills to cool the reins. Call her in. to carry me in the name of foul clothes to DatchetBard. Come in. woman.
lane: they took me on their shoulders; met the jealous Énter Mrs. QUICKLY.
knave, their master, in the door, who asked them once Quick. By your leave.--I cry you mercy: give your or twice what they had in their basket. I quaked for worship good-rorrow.
fear, lest the lunatic knave would have searched it; Fal. Take away these chalices. Go, brew me a but fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his pottle of sack finely.
hand. Well; on went he for a search, and away went Bard. With eggs, sir ?
I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, master Brook: Fal. Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my I suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first, an brewage.--[Exit BARDOLPH.)-How now?
intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten Quick. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from bell-wether: next, to be compassed, like a good bilbo, mistress Ford.
in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to Fal. Mistress Ford ! I have had ford enough : I was head: and then, to be stopped in, like a strong distilthrown into the ford : I have my belly full of ford. lation, with stinking clothes that fretted in their own
Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her grease: think of that, -a man of my kidney,—think of fault: she does so take on with her men; they mistook that; that am as subject to heat, as butter; a man of their erection.
continual dissolution and thaw: it was a miracle, to Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, promise.
when I was more than half stewed in grease, like a Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cooled, yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse shoe; think of morning a birding: she desires you once more to come that,--hissing hot, -think of that, master Brook. to her between eight and nine. I must carry her word Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my quickly: she'll make you amends, I warrant you. sake you have suffered all this. My suit, then, is des
Fal. Well, I will visit her: tell her so; and bid her perate; you 'll undertake her no more ?